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Topic: Many students find it hard to concentrate or pay attention at school. Why? What can be done to solve this problem?

Topic: Many students find it hard to concentrate or pay attention at school. Why? What can be done to solve this problem? o1k0g
In the modern era, there are a lot of distractions which can reduce a student's concentration. In fact, many students hardly stay focused in class. This essay will provide an insight into the possible causes and solutions of this phenomenon. The distraction of students in class is mainly caused by their electronic devices and their friends. Firstly, parents tend to buy their childs a electronic device to contact their families and update information on the internet. However, some of them become addicted to social media or games and use their electronic devices in class for texting or playing games. Thus, that action distracts them from the teacher’s lecture. Secondly, studying in such an environment which is surrounded by friends is also difficult for students to concentrate because they can just talk to their friends and not focus on their teacher. However, there are several measures that could be taken to cope with the aforementioned problems. First of all, schools should ban electronic devices in class since many students distract from their lessons because of this reason. Hence, students are not able to check their phone or play games and pay more attention to the lessons. Moreover, by disciplining students who usually talk in class more rigorously, they can be afraid of making mistakes again and because of not talking to their friends, they will be more concentrated on the teacher. Besides, schools can also improve student’s awareness by teaching them the importance of learning so they will take their study seriously and focus on their learning process. In conclusion, there are several causes of the distraction in class which are mainly electronic devices and friends. Steps to tackle this problem are banning these devices and disciplining students strictly.
In the modern era, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
distractions which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
a student's concentration. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
hardly stay focused in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. This essay will provide an insight into the possible causes and solutions of this phenomenon.

The distraction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
is
mainly
caused by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
Firstly
, parents tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "children", the plural form of the noun 'child'?
childs
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
to contact their families and update information on the internet.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them become addicted to social media or games and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
for texting or playing games.
Thus
, that action distracts them from the teacher’s lecture.
Secondly
, studying in such an environment which
is surrounded
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
is
also
difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to concentrate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
talk to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
and not focus on their teacher.

However
, there are several measures that could
be taken
to cope with the aforementioned problems.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, schools should ban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
distract from their lessons
because of this
reason.
Hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are not able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
their phone or play games and pay more attention to the lessons.
Moreover
, by disciplining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who
usually
talk in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
more
rigorously
, they can be afraid of making mistakes again and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of not talking to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, they will be more concentrated on the teacher.
Besides
, schools can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
awareness by teaching them the importance of learning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will take their study
seriously
and focus on their learning process.

In conclusion
, there are several causes of the distraction in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
which are
mainly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
. Steps to tackle this problem are banning these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
and disciplining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
strictly
.
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IELTS essay Topic: Many students find it hard to concentrate or pay attention at school. Why? What can be done to solve this problem?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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