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it is better for to grow up in the countryside than in a big city

it is better for to grow up in the countryside than in a big city g8WaA
It is better for children to grow up in the countryside than in a big city. To begin with, the body resistance of people who live in the countryside is higher than people who live in the city. The more germs we encounter, the more resistance we have. People who live in the countryside are more likely to encounter germs. Also, they can eat fresh food and get fresh air because they can produce their fresh food. Moreover, they can have awareness of protecting animals and nature. They value them because they grew up with animals. Also, they always throw their trash in a bin. They are careful about the recycle. Finally, they have no traffic and safety life. In a big city, there are a lot of dangerous ad different people. People who live in a big city should be careful their important things while they walking in a street. This brings about to carry things for defense ourselves, but unfortunately, these may be unlegal. In the countryside, they know each other. In short, to growing country side should be better for children.
It is better for children to grow up in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
than in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the body resistance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
is higher than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the city. The more germs we encounter, the more resistance we have.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
are more likely to encounter germs.
Also
, they can eat fresh food and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
fresh air
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can produce their fresh food.
Moreover
, they can have awareness of protecting animals and nature. They value them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they grew up with animals.
Also
, they always throw their trash in a bin. They are careful about the recycle.
Finally
, they have no traffic and safety life. In a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
ad
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
city should be careful their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things while
Did you mean "they're walking", "they are walking", or "they were walking"?
they walking
in a street. This brings about to carry things for defense ourselves,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
unfortunately, these may be
Possible spelling mistake found.
unlegal
. In the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countryside
, they know each other. In short, to growing country side should be better for children.
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IELTS essay it is better for to grow up in the countryside than in a big city

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
184 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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