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topic is topic is topic is topoc like topic

topic is topic is topic is topoc like topic Y213V
There is no doubt that these days everybody is used to spend countless hours in front of television screens. The questions is, are televisions impactful in our community? In this essay, I am going to discuss my view and draw my personal conclusion. In terms of advantages, TVs could make our life more enjoyable. The main reason given to support this claim is that lots of comedy and interesting programs like cartoons are displayed on these devices, Which make us too much engaged in front of televisions. To illustrate, Tom & Jerry cartoon is a very popular funny program showed on televisions. In other words, Lots of children get very happy when they see it. So, that’s why some people think that Television is not such a big problem. However, TV has clear disadvantages on society. Firstly, a loss of communicational skills could happen due to watching television. In other words, when people tend to just sit in front of a screen for hours without talking with others, they will gradually tend to loose their social interaction skills. A recent research shows that teenagers who watch TV more than 2 hours daily suffer from lack of speaking skills in front of people. Secondly, Addiction is a common side effect of TVs. This is because people watch them for long hours and still wish for more. For an instance, If I saw one episode of an interesting program, I will wait eagerly for other episodes or other more interesting programs. In conclusion, although television may bring little bit joy in our lives, it still has dangerous effects on people. Therefore, I believe that TVs are very harmful for our social and family life.
There is no doubt that these days everybody is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to spend countless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
front
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
screens. The questions
You should probably use: "are".
is
, are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
impactful in our community? In this essay, I am going to discuss my view and draw my personal conclusion.

In terms of advantages, TVs could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our life more enjoyable. The main reason
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to support this claim is that lots of comedy and interesting programs like cartoons
are displayed
on these devices, Which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us too much engaged in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
front
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
. To illustrate, Tom & Jerry cartoon is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
popular
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
funny
program
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
televisions
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, Lots of children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
happy when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, that’s why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Television
is not such a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem.
However
, TV has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
disadvantages on society.

Firstly
, a loss of
Possible spelling mistake found.
communicational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
could happen due to watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
sit in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
front
of a screen for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
without talking with others, they will
gradually
tend to
Did you mean "lose" (= miss, waste, suffer the loss etc.)?
loose
their social interaction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. A recent research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
TV more than 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
daily suffer from lack of speaking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
front
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Secondly
, Addiction is a common side effect of TVs. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
them for long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hours
and
still
wish for more. For an instance, If I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
one episode of an interesting program, I will wait
eagerly
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
episodes or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
more interesting programs.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
may bring
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
joy in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, it
still
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Therefore
, I believe that TVs are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful for our social and family life.
What do you think?
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IELTS essay topic is topic is topic is topoc like topic

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
282 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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