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topic is too short for amking me thing something else

topic is too short for amking me thing something else kYpD8
Nowadays, technology is taking over our lives rapidly. Some people say that the traditional skills and ways of life die out, because of the rapid development of technology and they believe that it is pointless to try to keep them alive. I think that it is not pointless to try to save those ways or skills as long as we can. Traditional skills are part of our history and we are the only ones to keep them alive and not become memories. Such skills are shoemaking, sewing and handcrafting. Today all of these are had been replaced by automated machines. a number of peoples jobs depend on these skills, so the next gens to continue the business need to learn these skills. Traditional ways of life are also a huge part of history for each country because they distinguish from other countries. However, technology can usually help someone in their everyday life. Machines frequently make a persons work easier and more enjoyable. Also, Automated machines can produce more because they are faster and do not waste materials. That is the main reason factories use them so much. Machines do not want a monthly income so that is the main reason they are replacing workers, for example, my uncle got fired from the factory that he was working in due to the fact a machine replaced him since it was faster and more consistent at the work. In conclusion, I believe that traditional skills and ways of life are going to be replaced by machines eventually since they are better on the contrary that does not mean that it is pointless to keep them alive as long as we can.
Nowadays, technology is taking over our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
rapidly
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that the traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
out,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the rapid development of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
technology and
they believe that it is pointless to try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them alive. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is not pointless to try to save those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
as long as we can.

Traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are part of our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
history and
we are the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
ones to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them alive and not become memories. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
shoemaking
, sewing and handcrafting.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
all of these
are had
been replaced
by automated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
a
number of peoples jobs depend on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the
next
gens to continue the business need to learn these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. Traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of life are
also
a huge part of history for each country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they distinguish from other countries.

However
, technology can
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
someone in their everyday life.

Machines
frequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a persons work easier and more enjoyable.
Also
, Automated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
can produce more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are faster and do not waste materials.
That is
the main reason factories
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Machines
do not want a monthly income
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that is
the main reason they are replacing workers,
for example
, my uncle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
fired from the factory that he was working in due to the fact a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
replaced him since it was faster and more consistent at the work.

In conclusion
, I believe that traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
of life are going to
be replaced
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
eventually
since they are better
on the contrary
that does not mean that it is pointless to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
them alive as long as we can.
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IELTS essay topic is too short for amking me thing something else

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
279 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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