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TOPIC: Information on hobbies

TOPIC: Information on hobbies jDyx1
My hobbies are very simple. After school, I follow my study plans that I have set to self-study either at home or other places. Beside this, I enjoy watching technology video about electrical and heavy engine on YouTube. Furthermore, for relaxation I enjoy listening to music, watching animated movie, going outside to take the fresh air in countryside, join charity event, reading book especially scientific book and so forth.
My hobbies are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
simple. After school, I follow my study plans that I have set to self-study either at home or other places. Beside this, I enjoy watching technology video about electrical and heavy engine on YouTube.
Furthermore
, for relaxation I enjoy listening to music, watching animated movie, going outside to take the fresh air in countryside,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
charity
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
, reading book
especially
scientific book and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
forth.
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IELTS essay TOPIC: Information on hobbies

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
69 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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