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Topic: Attendants at college courses should be optional. Do you agree or disagree?

Topic: Attendants at college courses should be optional. nVqoe
In the era of globalization, learning in universities courses is the first step to open a new page for students' future. However, it is not the only way to succeed after graduation. Therefore, these points are going to be discussed in the below essay. Experience is more significant than theory. To begin with, some students have to suspend their degrees after graduation. They could not find any suitable vocation because of the lack of experience when they start applying for jobs at some companies. That is the reason why studying in college courses does not support students as much as gaining experiences. In fact, college education background of some countries focuses on theory, lack of skills and practice. It has produced passive students not the active ones. Taking my cousin as an example, he majored in Tourism Administration at Can Tho university. But now, he can not find any job which is suitable for his major. The main reason is his lack of experience. He could not have an opportunity to work in hotels or restaurants before. Perhaps, students have to do some part-time jobs to gain experience. The lack of social skills which are relevant skills students should have is also a big issue. For example, many families were tricked into losing huge amount of money due to the lack of social skills when their children graduated. For sure, not to mention these students' future is going to be trouble. Sending children to learn in universities exists parents to up appearance. In fact, some students are surrounded by a shell of flashy of their family. However, hidden deep in it are the losses that no one expected. A huge amount of money must be spent whether your children would not be as successfull as you want. In brief, Studying in college courses is not the only way to be successful. If they do not choose the road of university can start their own career by working in stores strings or small agency where they can gain experience
In the era of globalization, learning in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
courses is the
first
step to open a new page for students' future.
However
, it is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to succeed after graduation.
Therefore
, these points are going to
be discussed
in the below essay.

Experience is more significant than theory. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
suspend their degrees after graduation. They could not find any suitable vocation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
applying for jobs at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
That is
the reason why studying in college courses does not support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
as much as gaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiences
. In fact, college education background of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries focuses on theory,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and practice. It has produced passive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
not the active ones. Taking my cousin as an example, he majored in Tourism Administration at Can Tho
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, he can not find any job which is suitable for his major. The main reason is his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
. He could not have an opportunity to work in hotels or restaurants
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Perhaps,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part-time jobs to gain experience.

The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which are relevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should have is
also
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
issue.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
families
were tricked
into losing huge amount of money due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lack
of social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
when their children graduated. For sure, not to mention these students' future is going to be trouble. Sending children to learn in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
exists parents to up appearance. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are surrounded
by a shell of flashy of their family.
However
, hidden deep in it are the losses that no one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
. A huge amount of money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be spent
whether your children would not be as
Possible spelling mistake found.
successfull
as you want.

In brief
, Studying in college courses is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way to be successful. If they do not choose the road of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
career by working in stores strings or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
agency where they can gain
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
experience
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IELTS essay Topic: Attendants at college courses should be optional.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
337 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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