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Technology in arts: nowadays technology is influencing modern arts .do you think it's positive or negative?

Technology in arts: nowadays technology is influencing modern arts. do you think it's positive or negative? gD7Ol
Being exposed to technology development will increase effects in modern art include painting, design, film. I think it's positive development. I will elucidate my viewpoint with following arguments. On the one hand, one reason for this view is that, firstly painting can be done with robots which have the artificial intelligence. Secondly, technology both have influence in the process of making film and watching that. For example, with high-tech tech innovations people don't have to go the cinema to watch their favorite film. They can easily download it from internet and social media. Technology have an effect on music taste of people. For example, because of youtube and social media improvements people have the better cross-cultural understanding and they will be the fan of other countrie's songs. On the other hand, it has some draw backs like human being are now less valued in these areas because their roles are replaced with robots and children in this modern-day instead of typing and painting by hand, they will utilize the visual games to do this which can lead to losing the basic skills which can be done by hand. In conclusion, I think its merits outweigh it's permits.
Being exposed
to technology development will increase effects in modern art include painting, design, film. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development. I will elucidate my viewpoint with following arguments.

On the one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
, one reason for this view is that,
firstly
painting can
be done
with robots which have the artificial intelligence.
Secondly
, technology both have influence in the process of making film and watching that.
For example
, with high-tech tech innovations
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go the cinema to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
their favorite film. They can
easily
download it from internet and social media. Technology
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "has".
have
an effect on music taste of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
youtube
and social media improvements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have the better cross-cultural
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
understanding and
they will be the fan of other
Possible spelling mistake found.
countrie
's songs.

On the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
draw backs like human being are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
less valued in these areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their roles
are replaced
with robots and children in this modern-day
instead
of typing and painting by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
, they will utilize the visual games to do this which can lead to losing the basic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
which can
be done
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hand
.
In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
its merits outweigh
Did you mean "its" (possessive pronoun) instead of 'it's' (=it is)?
it's
permits.
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IELTS essay Technology in arts: nowadays technology is influencing modern arts. do you think it's positive or negative?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
197 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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