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TOPIC # 37 Do you agree or disagree that progress is always good?

TOPIC # 37 that progress is always good? E36lq
Humans always try to improve their lives. They attempt to achieve progress in every field. Although some people think that there are disadvantages of progress. I believe that it is always good to have progress in all aspects of our lives and for the following reasons. To begin with, people can enjoy the progress that has happened in transportation and communication means. Now airplanes are available in almost everywhere. People can travel fast and conveniently through different places ever oversees in the same day. They can communicate and contact more than in the past by using cell phones. Businesses today are managed efficiently through telecommunicating. All that and more has occurred by favor of progress. Another aspect that progress has its influence on is the health and education aspects. People in the past die because of infected injuries or because of the diseases like polio. Today humans developed different kinds of antibiotics to treat infections within few days. Also, there are many vaccines we can use to avoid some diseases like polio. In addition, now the education is better than in the past. Students can study online while they are at home or even in other countries. There are a lot of colleges that students can even study while they are working, like work in the day and study in a university in the evening. This makes people's lives easier, more productive and even rich with wide knowledge by educating themselves. Finally, progress can be witnessed even in the entertaining field to make the life interesting and enjoyable. Nowadays we have a lot of electronic based entertainment. For example, children in the past play a lot outside and most of the times they may dirt themselves by playing with mud or dirt or even involve in fights with each other. On the other hand, today kids have electronic games they can enjoy playing with through their I pads or cell phones. Furthermore there are several TV channels for kids and also for adults. People get entertainment while they stay at home. To sum up, even though there are some back draws for progress, I totally agree that progress is better for humans because it makes life more pleasant, healthier, and easier. People enjoy their lives in better ways with progress.
Humans always try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
. They attempt to achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
in every field.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are disadvantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
. I believe that it is always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
in all aspects of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
and for the following reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
that has happened in transportation and communication means.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
airplanes are available in almost everywhere.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and
conveniently
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places ever oversees in the same day. They can communicate and contact more than in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
by using cell phones. Businesses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are managed
efficiently
through
Possible spelling mistake found.
telecommunicating
. All that and more has occurred by favor of progress.

Another aspect that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
has its influence on is the health and education aspects.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of infected injuries or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the diseases like polio.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
humans developed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kinds of antibiotics to treat infections within few days.
Also
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
vaccines we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
to avoid
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases like polio.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the education is better than in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
. Students can study online while they are at home or even in other countries. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
colleges that students can even study while they are working, like work in the day and study in a university in the evening.
Did you mean "these"?
This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
easier, more productive and even rich with wide knowledge by educating themselves.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
can
be witnessed
even in the entertaining field to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the life interesting and enjoyable. Nowadays we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
electronic based entertainment.
For example
, children in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
play a lot outside and
Consider using "most of the time" if you mean "usually" or "very often".
most of the times
they
The word 'dirt' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
may dirt
themselves by playing with mud or dirt or even involve in fights with each other.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
kids have electronic games they can enjoy playing with through their
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'I'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
I pads
or cell phones.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
there are several TV channels for kids and
also
for adults.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
entertainment while they stay at home.

To sum up,
even though
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
back draws for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
is better for humans
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
life more pleasant, healthier, and easier.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
enjoy their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in better ways with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
progress
.
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IELTS essay TOPIC # 37 that progress is always good?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
380 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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