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Topic 1: Some people suggest banning advertising medicines or dietary supplements on media because these advertisements have detrimental impacts on the audience. What is your opinion?

Topic 1: Some people suggest banning advertising medicines or dietary supplements on media because these advertisements have detrimental impacts on the audience. What is your opinion? 1A3wN
Social media today has established itself as one of the most ideal means of advertising for numerous products. However, it is proposed that advertisements of medicines and dietary supplements on these platforms should not be allowed due to their overwhelmingly adverse impact on the audience. Personally, I am totally in favor of this idea on account of the following arguments. To begin with, medicine advertising on social media can exert negative influence on the general well-being of the public. As a matter of fact, advertisers are now going to extraordinary lengths to promote their products, with some even making use of celebrities’ endorsement to increase their reliability. Thus, those suffering from diseases, who are desperate for any promising treatments, may be the ideal target of such advertisements. This can lead to drug consumption without consultation with medical professionals, and consequently misuse or overdose of medicines. As a result, their health conditions may be worsened, even fatality in some cases. Secondly, administration of advertised content on social media is presented with numerous difficulties regarding medicines and supplements. Specifically, there exists a significant number of products which are not accredited or certified by any medical departments. Furthermore, effectiveness of advertised products cannot be guaranteed as their positive effects may be elevated, while details on side effects and potential allergies to specific ingredients are often neglected. Consequently, should these medicines and supplements be trusted, consumers would be vulnerable to potential health hazards instead of actually achieving the desired results. Opponents may argue that such advertising can serve as an effective way of promoting novel medical products to doctors and pharmacists. Admittedly, this idea may sound rational as medical experts can turn these products to patient’s advantage. Nonetheless, it should be noted that advertising on social media is accessible to laymen as well. Given their limited knowledge on medicines, there exists possibilities of misuse of drugs and supplements by non-experts, leading to far-reaching health-related problems. Thus, the optimal solution would be doing direct marketing to medical professionals in clinics and hospitals for better assessment and application. In conclusion, advertising of medicines and supplements on social media should not be licensed in light of the aforementioned reasons. Hopefully, those in need of medical treatment should have proper consultation with doctors and pharmacists so as to receive satisfactory results.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
has established itself as one of the most ideal means of advertising for numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
However
, it
is proposed
that advertisements of medicines and dietary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supplements
on these platforms should not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
due to their
overwhelmingly
adverse impact on the audience.
Personally
, I am
totally
in favor of this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
on account of the following arguments.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
advertising on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
can exert
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on the general well-being of the public. As a matter of fact, advertisers are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
going to extraordinary lengths to promote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
even making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of celebrities’ endorsement to increase their reliability.
Thus
, those suffering from diseases, who are desperate for any promising treatments, may be the ideal target of such advertisements. This can lead to drug consumption without consultation with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
professionals, and
consequently
misuse or overdose of medicines.
As a result
, their health conditions may
be worsened
, even fatality in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases.

Secondly
, administration of advertised content on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is presented
with numerous difficulties regarding medicines and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supplements
.
Specifically
, there exists a significant number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which are not accredited or certified by any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
departments.
Furthermore
, effectiveness of advertised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
cannot
be guaranteed
as their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects may
be elevated
, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
on side effects and potential allergies to specific ingredients are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
neglected.
Consequently
, should these medicines and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supplements
be trusted
, consumers would be vulnerable to potential health hazards
instead
of actually achieving the desired results.

Opponents may argue that such advertising can serve as an effective way of promoting novel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to doctors and pharmacists.
Admittedly
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
may sound rational as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
experts can turn these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to patient’s advantage. Nonetheless, it should
be noted
that advertising on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is accessible to laymen
as well
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
their limited knowledge on medicines, there exists possibilities of misuse of drugs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supplements
by non-experts, leading to far-reaching health-related problems.
Thus
, the optimal solution would be doing direct marketing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
professionals in clinics and hospitals for better assessment and application.

In conclusion
, advertising of medicines and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
supplements
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should not
be licensed
in light of the aforementioned reasons.
Hopefully
, those in need of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medical
treatment should have proper consultation with doctors and pharmacists
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
receive satisfactory results.
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IELTS essay Topic 1: Some people suggest banning advertising medicines or dietary supplements on media because these advertisements have detrimental impacts on the audience. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
383 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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