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TOEFL ESSAY: The college years are the best time in a person's life. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

TOEFL ESSAY: The college years are the best time in a person's life. MMLRk
Definitely the college years are one of the best time in some person`s life, as it was for me. However, it should not be true for everyone since there are many aspects in the teenager`s life and sociality that can lead to relevant problems, such as bulling, alcohol and drugs addiction. Despite of this, college is a period where we are used to have a good social life, not a lot of worries about the world and a inspiring excitement about our future and dreams. Usually people in college already has a strong personality that helps them to find a group of friends whose can last forever. In the first years of adolescence, the beginning of college, the person has a such personality that reflects on their way of dressing, acting and integrating with people. It is a time where the person`s personality is being firmed. When people with whose similarities are put together, they create a crew of friends with whom they spend all the college period, with the potential for lasting for life. They are normally labeled as ‘’the best friends’’ or ‘’ the childhood friends’’. Other reason that makes me think that college period is great is because people do not have a lot of responsibility and worries. When I was in college, for example, my biggest worries were to have good grades so I could impress my parents, to be close to my friend as much as could and avoid getting into a flight that could put us apart. I did not have to worry with the bills to pay at the end of the month or with cleaning, groceries, car repair, etc. In college, life Is more about studies and socialization with friends. Thirdly, it is a period where we are all very excited about the future. It is when we start to wonder what we want to be as an adult. On that time, our dreams were flying higher and everything seems to be possible and reasonable. This feeling usually brings motivation to fight to our dreams, which can be either getting into a medical school or traveling around the world in an exchange program. Thus, my experience in life allows me to agree with the statement that college is one of the best time in someone’s life, although it cannot be generalized because everyone lived different experience in college. But, in my opinion, college is a period where you normally have many friends, no big worries and a lot of dreams and will to go after them.
Definitely the college years are one of the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
The character between 'person' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "person’s" (curly apostrophe) or "person's" (straight apostrophe).
person`s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, as it was for me.
However
, it should not be true for everyone since there
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "is", "was", "were".
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects in the
The character between 'teenager' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "teenager’s" (curly apostrophe) or "teenager's" (straight apostrophe).
teenager`s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
sociality
that can lead to relevant problems, such as bulling, alcohol and drugs addiction.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
this, college is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
where we are
In the grammatical structure 'pronoun + be/get + used + to + verb', the verb 'used' is used with the gerund: "used to having".
used to have
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worries
about the world and
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
inspiring excitement about our future and dreams.

Usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in college already has a strong personality that
In informal texts, 'to' is not necessary. Do you mean "helps them find"?
helps them to find
a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
whose can last forever. In the
first
years of adolescence, the beginning of college, the person has a such personality that reflects on their way of dressing, acting and integrating with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It is a
It is better to use 'time' with the time-relative pronoun 'when': "time when". (Alternatively, use 'in/on which')
time where
the
The character between 'person' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "person’s" (curly apostrophe) or "person's" (straight apostrophe).
person`s
personality is
being firmed
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with whose similarities
are put
together, they create a crew of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
with whom they spend all the college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
, with the potential for lasting for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. They are
normally
labeled as ‘’the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends’’
or ‘’ the childhood friends’’.

Other reason that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
me
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
is great is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
responsibility and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worries
. When I was in college,
for example
, my biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worries
were to have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
grades
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I could impress my parents, to be close to my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
as much as could and avoid getting into a flight that could put us apart. I did not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worry
with the bills to pay at the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the month or with cleaning, groceries, car repair, etc. In college,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
Is more about studies and socialization with friends.

Thirdly
, it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
where we are all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
excited about the future. It is when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to wonder what we want to be as an adult. On that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, our dreams were flying higher and everything seems to be possible and reasonable. This feeling
usually
brings motivation to fight to our dreams, which can be either getting into a medical school or traveling around the world in an exchange program.

Thus
, my experience in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
me to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that college is one of the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in someone’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, although it cannot
be generalized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
experience in college.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, in my opinion, college is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
period
where you
normally
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
worries
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
dreams and will to go after them.
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IELTS essay TOEFL ESSAY: The college years are the best time in a person's life.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
424 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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