Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

The following appeared in the editorial section of a local newspaper:“This past winter, 200 students from Waymarsh State College traveled to the state capitol building to protest against proposed cuts in funding for various state college programs. The o

The following appeared in the editorial section of a local newspaper: “This past winter, 200 students from Waymarsh State College traveled to the state capitol building to protest against proposed cuts in funding for various state college programs. The o e510G
The argument claims that the state legislature need not heed the appeals of the protesting students since the group who did not pretest is far more numerous. The conclusion of the argument is based on the premise that 12000 Waymarsh students who did not protest were not so concerned about their education. The conclusion of the argument relies on assumptions for which there is no clear evidence. Hence, the argument is unconvincing and has several flaws. First, the argument readily assumes that the students, who have not taken part in the protest were not concerned about their education. However, it fails to mention other factors, which could affect students’ decision concerning the participation in the protest. For example, 200 students that have travelled to the state capital building could have been appointed as other students’ representatives. The author fails to mention the laws that regulate protests. The legal number of people taking part in the protest might have been limited in compliance with these laws. Second, the argument could have been much clearer if it provided information on any other similar protests aroused by proposed cuts in funding for various state college programs. In fact, it is not at all clear if similar actions also were also taken by students of other colleges affected by proposed cuts. Finally, the argument fails to mention one of the key factors, on basis of which it could be evaluated, namely if any of 1200 students who haven’t taken part in the protest are enrolled in the programs which would be affected should the cuts take place. Without this information, the argument remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
claims that the state legislature need not heed the appeals of the protesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
since the group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
did not pretest is far more numerous.

The conclusion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is based
on the premise that 12000
Possible spelling mistake found.
Waymarsh
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
did not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protest
were not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
concerned about their education.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
conclusion of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
relies on assumptions for which there is no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
evidence.
Hence
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
is unconvincing and has several flaws.

First
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
readily
assumes that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have not taken part in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protest
were not concerned about their education.
However
, it fails to mention
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factors, which could affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
decision concerning the participation in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protest
.
For example
, 200
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
that have travelled to the state capital building could have
been appointed
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
representatives. The author fails to mention the laws that regulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protests
. The legal number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
taking part in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protest
might have
been limited
in compliance with these laws.

Second, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
could have been much clearer if it provided information on any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protests
aroused by proposed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cuts
in funding for various state college programs. In fact, it is not at all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
if similar actions
also
were
also
taken by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
colleges
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by proposed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cuts
.

Finally
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
fails to mention one of the key factors, on basis of which it could
be evaluated
,
namely
if any of 1200
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
haven’t taken part in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protest
are enrolled
in the programs which would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
should the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cuts
take place.

Without this information, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
argument
remains unsubstantiated and open to debate.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay The following appeared in the editorial section of a local newspaper: “This past winter, 200 students from Waymarsh State College traveled to the state capitol building to protest against proposed cuts in funding for various state college programs. The o

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • The following appeared in the editorial section of a local newspaper:“This past winter, 200 students from Waymarsh State College traveled to the state capitol building to protest against proposed cuts in funding for various state college programs. The o