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Today’s society provides people with various ways to lose weight, such as special diets or exercise regimes. Many people believe though that poor food and today’s lifestyle should be addressed first. What is your opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience. v.3

Today’s society provides people with various ways to lose weight, such as special diets or exercise regimes. Many people believe though that poor food and today’s lifestyle should be addressed first. What is your opinion? v. 3
These days, weight-loss techniques through customized diets or through multifarious physical activities is in vogue in our community. However, there are people who conceive that the unhealthy eating habits and sedentary behaviour should be tackled first. I am in complete accord with this thought, as addressing these two issues will automatically resolve the weight concern to a great extent. In this essay we will discuss the components in detail and will draw an inference. Today's generation wary mostly to remain in a desired shape. Rather than exploring the root cause of their problem, and then finding a solution to it, they instead try to find an easy fix. It is evident that why the diet supplements, special weight loss food programs, various special fitness modules have become so famous in today's modern society and has captured the majority of the market. This trend has taken a pace because this method has quick results. I personally opted for a quick 15kg loss package comprised of special eatables and heavy exercises, after my son was born. As a result, I was startled to reach my pre-pregnancy weight in just 25 days. Nevertheless, when this approach gives results, there is no second thought to avoid this. Is this trend propitious for our association? Of course, no. Although, I reached my goal, but that the phenomenon has a pernicious effect on my health after that. I started feeling weaker after the course was over and when I consulted a physician, I was educated that because of heavy exercises and calories cut, though I lost weight, yet, I lacked many essential nutrients and vitamins from my body, which afterwards took a year for me to recover with the help of right diet and a healthy lifestyle. I can contend that if people can be rightly educated about the intake of optimal food that can fulfil the human body requirements, followed by an active living, this problem of weight can be addressed to its route. Once, the public is aware of their well-being, rest everything can fall in place at time with right efforts. To recapitulate, having mulled over above information and deliberating all the facts, it can be deducted that, resolving unhealthy eating habits and making people aware of robust livelihood is the key to a healthy body, despite of quick fixes available in the market. I feel if we follow a healthful living, everything else can be achieved. The agile solutions are not pertinent, they can have a dire consequence for our health in a long run.
These days, weight-loss techniques through customized diets or through multifarious physical activities is in vogue in our community.
However
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who conceive that the unhealthy eating habits and sedentary
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
should
be tackled
 
first
. I am in complete accord with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, as addressing these two issues will
automatically
resolve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
concern to a great extent. In this essay we will discuss the components in detail and will draw an inference.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's generation wary
mostly
to remain in a desired shape.
Rather
than exploring the root cause of their problem, and then finding a solution to it, they
instead
try to find an easy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
. It is evident that why the diet supplements, special
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
loss food programs, various special fitness modules have become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's modern society and has captured the majority of the market. This trend has taken a pace
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this method has quick results. I
personally
opted for a quick
Insert a space between the numerical value and the unit symbol "15 kg"
15kg
loss package comprised of special eatables and heavy exercises, after my son
was born
.
As a result
, I
was startled
to reach my
Possible spelling mistake found.
pre-pregnancy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
25 days.
Nevertheless
, when this approach gives results, there is no second
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to avoid this.

Is this trend propitious for our association?
Of course
, no. Although, I reached my goal,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
that the phenomenon has a pernicious effect on my health after that. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
feeling weaker after the course was over and when I consulted a physician, I
was educated
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of heavy exercises and calories
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
, though I lost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
,
yet
, I lacked
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
essential nutrients and vitamins from my body, which afterwards took a year for me to recover with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of right diet and a healthy lifestyle. I can contend that if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can be
rightly
educated about the intake of optimal food that can fulfil the human body requirements, followed by an active living, this problem of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weight
can
be addressed
to its route. Once, the public is aware of their well-being, rest everything can fall in place at time with right efforts.

To recapitulate, having mulled over above information and deliberating all the facts, it can
be deducted
that, resolving unhealthy eating habits and making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
aware of robust livelihood is the key to a healthy body,
Did you mean "despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
despite of
quick
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixes
available in the market. I feel if we follow a healthful living, everything else can
be achieved
. The agile solutions are not pertinent, they can have a dire consequence for our health in a long run.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Today’s society provides people with various ways to lose weight, such as special diets or exercise regimes. Many people believe though that poor food and today’s lifestyle should be addressed first. What is your opinion? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
417 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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