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Many People believe that having a fixed punishment for all crimes in efficient. What are the advantages and disadvantages of having a fixed punishment. v.1

Many People believe that having a fixed punishment for all crimes in efficient. What are the advantages and disadvantages of having a fixed punishment. v. 1
This day controlling crime is a challenging issue. If one person commits crime then he should be punished, but fixed punishment for all crimes is not moral. Let see the both advantages and disadvantages of having a fixed punishment. The advantages of having a fixed punishments create fear in society and motivate people to not commit crime. For instance road accidents, If people follow traffic rules properly, then this helps to reduce the accidents. Second biggest advantage is managing courts and jails becomes easier. Along with that, people belong higher status in society can't escape from punishment. However the official people have to do their work honestly. Disadvantages of this concept are mainly not providing justice for some kind of crimes. For example, if a person attempts murder and crime had been proved in court, but still the victim won't get accurate punishment. At the same time the people who did crime like theft or smuggling are not eligible to get the punishment. However this problem can be solved be dividing the crimes into groups. For each group the severity of punishment should be allocated. The lower level crimes allocated with less punishment and this will increase with the severity of crime. To summarize all above points, even though this concept creates fear in society and helps to reduce crime, sometimes justice given to the guilty is not satisfied, maybe his punishment was bigger or smaller. By creating groups that include all types of crimes helps to give justice which satisfies victims.
This day controlling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is a challenging issue. If one person commits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
then he should
be punished
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
is not moral.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the both advantages and disadvantages of having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
punishment.

The advantages of having a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "punishment"?
punishments
create fear in society and motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to not commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
For instance
road accidents, If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
follow traffic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
properly
, then this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the accidents. Second biggest advantage is managing courts and jails becomes easier. Along with that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
belong higher status in society can't escape from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the official
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do their work
honestly
.

Disadvantages of this concept are
mainly
not providing justice for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
.
For example
, if a person attempts murder and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
had
been proved
in court,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
the victim won't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
accurate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
. At the same time the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who did
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
like theft or smuggling are not eligible to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
this problem can
be solved
be dividing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
into groups. For each group the severity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
should
be allocated
. The lower level
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
allocated with less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
and this will increase with the severity of crime.

To summarize
all above points,
even though
this concept creates fear in society and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
justice
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the guilty is not satisfied, maybe his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
was bigger or smaller. By creating groups that include all types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to give justice which satisfies victims.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
24Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Many People believe that having a fixed punishment for all crimes in efficient. What are the advantages and disadvantages of having a fixed punishment. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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