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Today tourism is one of the world’s biggest industries and many poorer countries are depending more and more on tourism for their economy.

Today tourism is one of the world’s biggest industries and many poorer countries are depending more and more on tourism for their economy. VYj3K
From the beginning of 20th century the tourism has become the world’s largest industry. While this offer poor countries some opportunity to develop their economy, but along with that there are some disadvantage that might affect these countries. Due to the higher competition in the industrial global markets some countries won’t be able to compete other nations. Therefore tourism has become a great advantage for poor countries to increase their economy. With, tourism they would be able to invite people from other countries to show their cultural and heritage sites. People can enjoy the natural beauty of that country and spend money in doing some activities like kayaking, skydiving, Benji jumping and many more. So, this all factors can help increase the economy of poor countries. On other hand there are various drawbacks affected by tourism. For example, recently the covid-19 was spread across the world due to tourism. So, if some people is infected by some dieses then it can affect the whole country’s health and local poor peoples might face serious troubles. Additionally, terrorism is the other factor which can lead by tourism because people come from other place trying to destroy the country’s nation wealth and economy which includes killing of many innocents lives. Also, when tourist come to visit natural beauty of the country and they might destroy the preserved heritage sites. In conclusion, tourism might have some advantages which could help build the poor counties economy but along with that it also has some serious drawback which they should considered while inviting the tourist in their country.
From the beginning of 20th century the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has become the world’s largest industry. While this offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opportunity to develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
along with that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantage that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
affect these countries.

Due to the higher competition in the industrial global markets
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
won’t be able to compete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
nations.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has become a great advantage for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to increase their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
. With,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
they would be able to invite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their cultural and heritage sites.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can enjoy the natural beauty of that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and spend money in doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
activities like kayaking, skydiving, Benji jumping and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this all factors can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
increase the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
countries.

On
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other
hand there are various drawbacks
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
For example
, recently the
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
covid-19
was spread
across the world due to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
infected by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
dieses
then it can affect the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
health and local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
face serious troubles.
Additionally
, terrorism is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
factor which can lead by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
place trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
nation wealth and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
which includes killing of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
innocents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Also
, when tourist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to visit natural beauty of the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
country and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the preserved heritage sites.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
build the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "counties'" or "county's"?
counties
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
along with that it
also
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serious drawback which they should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "consider"
considered
while inviting the tourist in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
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IELTS essay Today tourism is one of the world’s biggest industries and many poorer countries are depending more and more on tourism for their economy.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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