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smoking is a habit which claims many lives and is a great drain on health

smoking is a habit which claims many lives and is a great drain on health nErBE
It is a fact that smoking is an addiction that is injurious to the health of a large sector of society and a huge burden on the healthcare facilities of the country. The approach for controlling smoking is to make it against the law. These policies have negatives as well as positives. There are many other methods for the reduction of smoking. To begin with, policies have some benefits if implemented like many people would be able to quit their dependency of smoking and saves not only their lives but the lives of hundreds of humans around them. They would feel more embarrassed when they will be caught and punished for their actions, so a considerable amount of individuals step out of the evil bud habit. Another advantage of this is there will be less patients with lungs disease or any other disease caused by smoking, so money saved from free healthcare facilities could be utilized in the betterment of society. The drawback of banning smoking are many individuals will use unauthorized ways to do smoking, a wide range of folks can unconstitutionally import materials for smoking. It can lead to child labor as chain smokers can use younger children for their benefit. Moreover, if smoking is suddenly prohibited then as a result a large number of human beings can go through depression, mental illness, and many other problems related to the mind. The other possible plan of action for this are increasing tax on such items, so that many cannot afford it and it automatically limits the purchasing of such items. Different strategies could be the opening of rehabilitation centers in each part of the city, so that many can avail the assistance from this in a long run.
It is a fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is an addiction
that is
injurious to the health of a large sector of society and a huge burden on the healthcare facilities of the country. The approach for controlling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it against the law. These policies have negatives
as well
as positives. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
methods for the reduction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, policies have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits if implemented like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would be able to quit their dependency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
and saves not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of hundreds of humans around them. They would feel more embarrassed when they will
be caught
and punished for their actions,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
a considerable amount of individuals
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "steps"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'step' is not always incorrect.)
step
out of the evil bud habit. Another advantage of this is there will be
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun patients is countable.
less
patients with lungs disease or any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
disease caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
money saved from free healthcare facilities could
be utilized
in the betterment of society. The drawback of banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
unauthorized ways to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
, a wide range of folks can
unconstitutionally
import materials for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
. It can lead to child labor as chain smokers can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
younger children for their benefit.
Moreover
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smoking
is
suddenly
prohibited then
as a result
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
human beings can go through depression, mental illness, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
problems related to the mind. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
possible plan of action for this are increasing tax on such items,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cannot afford it and it
automatically
limits the purchasing of such items.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
strategies could be the opening of rehabilitation centers in each part of the city,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
can avail the assistance from this in a long run.
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IELTS essay smoking is a habit which claims many lives and is a great drain on health

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
290 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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