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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The competition between friends always has negative effect.

The competition between friends always has negative effect. 1olqn
In today’s complicated and competitive world many of us do not have an opportunity to have a good close friend. A good friend can bring more joy and happiness in our life and improve our satisfaction. Despite the fact that competition between friends can be sometimes challenging with bad consequences, it is my firm conviction that a healthy competition between friends can benefit both of them. To support this there are several reasons, two of which are going to be aptly explored in the following. First and foremost, a healthy competition, without any cheating, can always be beneficial for everyone especially for who care about each others. A compassionate friend always want to encourage his or her friend to become a better person. For instance they encourage their friends to apply for a superb vocations, or job promotions. Therefore, the competition between them also is a strong force to make them to improve many aspect of their lives like vocation, houses, cars, etc. let me give you an example might make this view point much more evident. When I was in high school, my friend and I were studying for an entrance exam for the same university. We share our progress with each other every day and the desire of being better and superior made me to try harder and be better than my friend, also the same for my friend. Finally we both succeed and accepted to our favorite university. I deeply believe the competition between us was the critical key to our success. Another worthwhile reason to be mentioned is that the first rule of success to any fair competitions is knowing your rivals, their strength and weaknesses. Therefore, I personally think that being in a competition with your friends can be an effective way to know them better. So, if you find out about your friends weaknesses you can help them to eliminate them or enhance their strengths. In addition, knowing someone deeply has another significant consequence. It can strengthen your friendship bonds. It will make you and your friend closer. This friendship may last long-life. In summary if what has been illustrated and discussed in detail, it is a foregone conclusion that not only competing with your friend has not necessarily negative effects, but also it can be beneficial for both of you. The competition between you and your friend can help you to enhance your abilities and strengths and also it probably make your friendship stronger.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s complicated and competitive world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of us do not have an opportunity to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
can bring more joy and happiness in our life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our satisfaction. Despite the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
challenging with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
consequences, it is my firm conviction that a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
can benefit both of them. To support this there are several reasons, two of which are going to be
aptly
explored in the following.

First
and foremost, a healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
, without any cheating, can always be beneficial for everyone
especially
for who care about each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
. A compassionate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
always want to encourage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
person. For
The comma is probably missing here: "instance, they".
instance they
encourage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
to apply for a superb
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "vocation"?
vocations
, or job promotions.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
between them
also
is a strong force to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
Possible agreement error. The noun aspect seems to be countable; consider using: "many aspects".
many aspect
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
like vocation,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
, cars, etc.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
me give you an example might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
this view point much more evident. When I was in high school, my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
and I were studying for an entrance exam for the same university. We share our progress with each other every day and the desire of being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
and superior made me to try harder and be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
,
also
the same for my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
we both succeed and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
to our favorite university. I
deeply
believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
between us was the critical key to our success.

Another worthwhile reason to
be mentioned
is that the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
of success to any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competitions
The verb 'knowing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is knowing
your rivals, their strength and weaknesses.
Therefore
, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that being in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
can be an effective way to know them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if you find out about your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
weaknesses you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to eliminate them or enhance their strengths.
In addition
, knowing someone
deeply
has another significant consequence. It can strengthen your friendship bonds. It will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
you and your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
closer. This friendship may last long-life.

In summary if what has
been illustrated
and discussed in detail, it is a foregone conclusion that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
competing with your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
has not
necessarily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it can be beneficial for both of you. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
between you and your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to enhance your abilities and strengths and
also
it
probably
Did you mean "makes"?
make
your friendship stronger.
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IELTS essay The competition between friends always has negative effect.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
411 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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