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Today, the quality of life in big cities has become worse. What are the causes and solutions to this problem.

Today, the quality of life in big cities has become worse. What are the causes and solutions to this problem. VE1OK
Most people prefer to live in big cities which is already have accommodation for helping people's lives easier. However, the quality of life in big cities become worse from the increasing of environment problems, while this problem can will be solved by the government. To begin with, citizen's lives in large cities become worse from rising of environment problems. The environment was cut down more and more in last few year for a number of people, while the pollution from vehicles, factory, and more continue increase to support number of people. The citizen live with bad air pollution and bad environment that can effect their mind and physical problems. For example, Bangkok, where the capital city in Thailand, had the biggest problem with quality of air: called PM 2. 5. It was numerous effect to Thai citizen health, such as heart problems. Therefore, the increasing of people can effect to their life. Alongside this, the government has a huge responsibility to manage this problem with encourage their citizen. They should make campaign for teaching about the environment problems that effect to people's lives: interesting content on social media. Having more knowledge about the problems in school. Therefore, state is very important to develop their cities. All in all, the problems of environment effect to the quality of living in the big cities. Everyone also have responsibility to solve this problem and learn more about have better live. If no one interested about their society, their society will not develop to be superior.
Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
which is already have accommodation for helping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
easier.
However
, the quality of life in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
become worse from the increasing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, while this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
can will
be solved
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, citizen's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
in large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
become worse from rising of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down more and more in last
Possible agreement error. The noun year seems to be countable; consider using: "few years".
few year
for a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, while the pollution from vehicles, factory, and more continue increase to support number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The citizen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
air pollution and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
that can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
their mind and physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
For example
, Bangkok, where the capital city in Thailand, had the biggest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
with quality of air: called PM 2. 5. It was numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
to Thai citizen health, such as heart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
Therefore
, the increasing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
to their life.

Alongside this, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
has a huge responsibility to manage this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
with encourage their citizen. They should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
campaign for teaching about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
: interesting content on social media. Having more knowledge about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in school.
Therefore
, state is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to develop their cities.

All in all, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
effect
to the quality of living in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
. Everyone
also
The pronoun 'Everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
responsibility to solve this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
and learn more about have better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
. If no one interested about their society, their society will not develop to be superior.
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IELTS essay Today, the quality of life in big cities has become worse. What are the causes and solutions to this problem.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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