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of high speed transportation such as air planes, t

of high speed transportation such as air planes, t 1VjBN
Nowadays, in favor of high speed transportation such as air planes, trains, vehicles, …, people are going to the trip more times than past and tourism industry has growth too much. Despite of that growth so many arguments occur between experts. Some of them believe that we must use this chance to increase our venue, but in the other sides, experts think this will produce limitless environmental and inhabitant problems. Firstly, I want to talk about the pros of tourism industry. Tourism industry can introduce a country as a place with so many beautiful forests or with amazing mountains to the other part of the world. On the other hand, if international tourists come to a country, they must spend money in too many places like hotel, taxi, shops and so on. Surely, this help to economy of the country and maybe tourism transfer to one of the important incomes of the country like Turkey. But at another side of this coin is disadvantages. Experts believe tourists need water and electricity and this means inevitable destruction of environment. Because we must use more water than normal condition which hurt environment or we should burn more fossil fuels to produce electricity. In addition of environmental problems, some people concern about cultural problems. They say if tourists come to some places, they change culture of area slowly. To sum up, my opinion is the advantages of tourism industry is more than the disadvantages. I think the countries with good management can use the benefits of this industry and at the same time they can reduce the problems.
Nowadays, in favor of high speed transportation such as air
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
, trains, vehicles, …,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are going to the trip more times than past and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
has growth too much.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
that growth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
arguments occur between experts.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
of them believe that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this chance to increase our venue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in the other sides, experts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this will produce limitless environmental and inhabitant problems.

Firstly
, I want to talk about the pros of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
can introduce a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as a place with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
forests or with amazing mountains to the other part of the world.
On the other hand
, if international tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
spend money in too
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places like hotel, taxi, shops and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Surely
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to economy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and maybe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
transfer to one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
incomes of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
like Turkey.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
at another side of this coin is disadvantages. Experts believe tourists need water and electricity and this means inevitable destruction of environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more water than normal condition which hurt
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
environment or
we should burn more fossil fuels to produce electricity. In
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
addition
of environmental problems,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
concern about cultural problems. They say if tourists
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
culture of area
slowly
.

To sum up, my opinion is the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
is more than the disadvantages. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
management can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the benefits of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industry
and at the same time they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the problems.
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IELTS essay of high speed transportation such as air planes, t

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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