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today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflects the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold

today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflects the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold 1YyN
Nowadays companies investing more on advertisements for high quality sales. Moreover, adopting new strategy no only reflects on sales volume but also it leads companies growth too. I strongly agree commercial is a weapon for boosting sales while other people have different opinion. This essay will discuss why some people agree and some other people has contradict opinion and will end up with positive outcomes. In this competitive era, people like to get more experienced and stay connected to the world. Hence, some companies hiring celebrities for example boost up sales, such as, iphone company every year producing new version with the number of updated features, the consumer however, maybe dose not need another phone but with attractive commercials iphone company indirectly push the consumer to buy it On the other hand, other people opine that sometimes the consumer buy the product instead of their real needs. For instance, christiano Ronaldo, come up with the advertisement of shampoo many consumer will fall for it and buy it rather than real needs. In contrast, it is not always true that consumer get addicted by ads and buy it without real consumption. To recapitulate, Although, high quality advertisement, bill board, banner may influenced consumer to buy more, However, some people use their money wisely instead of buy unnecessary things.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
investing more on advertisements for high quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
.
Moreover
, adopting new strategy no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reflects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
volume
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it leads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
growth too. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
commercial is a weapon for boosting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinion. This essay will discuss why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
has
Use past participle here: "contradicted".
contradict
opinion and will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes.

In this competitive era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more experienced and stay connected to the world.
Hence
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
hiring celebrities
for example
boost up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sales
, such as,
Possible spelling mistake found.
iphone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
every year producing new version with the number of updated features, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
however
, maybe dose not need another phone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with attractive commercials
Possible spelling mistake found.
iphone
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
indirectly
push the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the product
instead
of their real needs.
For instance
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
christiano
Ronaldo,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
up with the
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
shampoo
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
will fall for it and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it
rather
than real needs.

In contrast
, it is not always true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
addicted by ads and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
it without real consumption.

To recapitulate, Although, high quality advertisement, bill board, banner may influenced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
more,
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their money
wisely
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
unnecessary things.
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IELTS essay today the high sales of popular consumer goods reflects the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
217 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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