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Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflects the power of advertising and not the real need of the society in which they are sold. To what extend do you agree or disagree

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflects the power of advertising and not the real need of the society in which they are sold. BV0V
A true fact that is, now a days advertisements places a paramount role in the continued sale of well known items. However it is not at all a great impact to the community. I completley agree with this opinion. First of all, most of the people, who they are rich continuesly brought a plethora of goods, which is neitherly usefull or not usefull. On the one hand, public they want to depicets their strengthness and economic power to the community, where they are lived. Due to a large number of people, who they persuiding a luxury life are main victims of advertisements. In addition, people those intrested in showing their standards are regularly buyed more products. Subsequently, they watching more adds that are related to huge price households. Although, they call to the custamer care number and note down the datas such as product quality, value so on. A good illustration for this is, one of my neighbour he replaced households within a month and buy a new one instead. On the other hand, people who buying new materials for deliberatly hurting neighbours, those who are financially backward. Therefore, a comparison is occured between the poor people and rich people within the same community. For instance, a society fight hasbeen started because of the negative comments that is intentionally used by the finacillay upward people against the backward people during a community celebration. In conclussion, a majority of people who they brought high valued goods by watching advertisements are mainly have no advantages. Moreover, a hurting mentality can be increased in the community
A true fact
that is
,
Did you mean "nowadays"?
now a days
advertisements places a paramount role in the continued sale of well known items.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
it is not at all a great impact to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
. I
Possible spelling mistake found.
completley
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this opinion.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
they are rich
Possible spelling mistake found.
continuesly
brought a plethora of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, which is
Possible spelling mistake found.
neitherly
Possible spelling mistake found.
usefull
or not
Possible spelling mistake found.
usefull
. On the one hand, public they want to
Possible spelling mistake found.
depicets
their
Possible spelling mistake found.
strengthness
and economic power to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
, where they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
. Due to
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
they
Possible spelling mistake found.
persuiding
a luxury life are main victims of advertisements.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
those
Possible spelling mistake found.
intrested
in showing their standards are
regularly
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "bought", the past tense form of the verb 'buy'?
buyed
more products.
Subsequently
,
Did you mean "they're watching", "they are watching", or "they were watching"?
they watching
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
adds
that
are related
to huge price households. Although, they call to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
custamer
care number and note down the
Possible spelling mistake found.
datas
such as product quality, value
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration for this is, one of my
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
he replaced households within a month and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a new one
instead
.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
buying new materials for
Possible spelling mistake found.
deliberatly
hurting
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbours' is British English.
neighbours
, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are
financially
backward.
Therefore
, a comparison is
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "occurred", the past tense form of the verb 'occur'?
occured
between the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
within the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
.
For instance
, a society fight
Possible spelling mistake found.
hasbeen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
comments
that is
intentionally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by the
Possible spelling mistake found.
finacillay
upward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
against the backward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
during a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
celebration. In
Possible spelling mistake found.
conclussion
, a majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
they brought high valued
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
by watching advertisements are
mainly
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
no advantages.
Moreover
, a hurting mentality can
be increased
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community

IELTS essay Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflects the power of advertising and not the real need of the society in which they are sold.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
262 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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