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Student should choose a university major that prepares them for a high paying career

Student should choose a university major that prepares them for a high paying career P03p
Universities often provide a wide selection of subjects and courses that a student can select. There is a belief that they should choose a major that can lead to a career with a high pay. Personally, I strongly disagree with this idea. It would be better if the students are learning about what they truly want instead of following the norm due to the pressure that comes from society. Firstly, being passionate about an area of study is more important than money. A university course will usually last around 3 to 4 years. The duration of study is quite long. If the students only pick a major that will pay well instead of what they are passionate about, it might lead them to become stressed in the long run. For instance, studying to become an architect, which is one of the high paying career, is quite diffucult and stressful especially when the student is not interested about the subject and only take it since it pays well. To become an architect, they will involve a lot of complex and intricate calculations. As a consequence, they will be stuck in a major that they are not passionate about and this could affect their mental health. In contrast, if they pick something that they are passionate about, despite the difficulties that might arise, they are less likely to become stressed as it is a subject that they enjoy. The happiness and mental health of a person should be their priority instead of a high salary. Secondly, a high-paying job usually has a long duration of study. To become a doctor, it will involve a lengthy process of at least 6 years of study. This should be something that is taken into account when selecting a major. In contrast, with the same amount of time, the student could study for 4 years to get a degree and then use the remaining 2 years work and join the job market immediately. This is definitely better since the they would have a 2 year industry experience compared to someone who just finished their study to become a physician. In conclusion, despite the promising salary, when deciding on what to study, students must also take into account about what they are passionate about and how long it will take to finish their study. There is no benefit of having a lot of money at the cost of mental health.
Universities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
provide a wide selection of subjects and courses that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
can select. There is a belief that they should choose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
that can lead to a career with a high pay.
Personally
, I
strongly
disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. It would be better if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are learning about what they
truly
want
instead
of following the norm due to the pressure that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from society.

Firstly
, being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passionate
about an area of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than money. A university course will
usually
last around 3 to 4 years. The duration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
is quite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
pick a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
that will pay well
instead
of what they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passionate
about, it might lead them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
run.
For instance
, studying to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
an architect, which is one of the high paying career, is quite
Possible spelling mistake found.
diffucult
and stressful
especially
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
is not interested about the subject and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
take it since it pays well. To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
an architect, they will involve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
complex and intricate calculations. As a consequence, they will
be stuck
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
that they are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passionate
about and this could affect their mental health.
In contrast
, if they pick something that they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passionate
about, despite the difficulties that might arise, they are less likely to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
as it is a subject that they enjoy. The happiness and mental health of a person should be their priority
instead
of a high salary.

Secondly
, a high-paying job
usually
has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
duration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a doctor, it will involve a lengthy process of at least 6 years of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. This should be something that
is taken
into account when selecting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
major
.
In contrast
, with the same amount of time, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
could
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
for 4 years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a degree and then
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the remaining 2 years work and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the job market immediately. This is definitely better since
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "they"?
the they
would have a 2
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
industry experience compared to someone who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
finished their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a physician.

In conclusion
, despite the promising salary, when deciding on what to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
also
take into account about what they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
passionate
about and how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
it will take to finish their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. There is no benefit of having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money at the cost of mental health.
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IELTS essay Student should choose a university major that prepares them for a high paying career

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
403 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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