Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In somecultures children are taught that they can achieve anything if the try hard enough

In somecultures children are taught that they can achieve anything if the try hard enough xjjQ
Many people believe that children should be taught that they can achieve any of their dreams if they work hard. On one hand, it is important to maintain children's confidence during childhood. A young child may not fully realize his own potential and opportunities that lied before them. For instance, a child from a simple Ukrainian family, at first glance, has no chance to study in the United States or the United Kingdom as the study in those countries considered to be very prestigious and expensive. However, there are plenty of study programs and scholarships open to every child with excellent English and decent marks. Thus, it is the responsibility of parents to explain to children that almost every dream, e. g. study in a foreign country may come true with duly efforts, like bookworming study at school and learning English. On the other hand, children who were told that they can do everything they want may grow up into irresponsible and spoiled people. Thus, the balance in praising children's abilities shall be kept. Moreover, I think parents shall also clearly evaluate the child's abilities or conditions. For instance, a child with health issues cannot become an astronaut, or a teenager with criminal records in past cannot apply to some state jobs, regardless of their level of effort. In conclusion, I think that it is important to assure children about their own abilities and encourage them to achieve their dreams, however parents shall specifically highlight that it is only possible through blood, sweat and tears.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
be taught
that they can achieve any of their dreams if they work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.

On one hand, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to maintain children's confidence during childhood. A young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
may not
fully
realize his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
potential and opportunities that lied
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
them.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
from a simple Ukrainian family, at
first
glance, has no chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in the United States or the United Kingdom as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in those countries considered to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
prestigious and expensive.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
programs and scholarships open to every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
with excellent English and decent marks.
Thus
, it is the responsibility of parents to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
that almost every dream,
There should be no space here: "e.g.".
e. g.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
in a foreign country may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
true with
duly
efforts, like
Possible spelling mistake found.
bookworming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
at school and learning English.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who were
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that they can do everything they want may grow up into irresponsible and spoiled
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Thus
, the balance in praising children's abilities shall be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
.
Moreover
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
parents shall
also
clearly
evaluate the child's abilities or conditions.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
with health issues cannot become an astronaut, or a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
with criminal records in past cannot apply to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
state jobs, regardless of their level of effort.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to assure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
abilities and encourage them to achieve their dreams,
however
parents shall
specifically
highlight that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
possible through blood, sweat and tears.

IELTS essay In somecultures children are taught that they can achieve anything if the try hard enough

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • In somecultures children are taught that they can achieve anything if the try hard enough