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You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree? You should write at least 250 words.

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. jeVp
We are living in the technocratic era, where one has easy access to many kind of communication devices connected to the internet. Everyone using their mobile devices along with the diffrent type of social media apps. It is quite possible that the most advertised consumer goods or software may reach to the targetted audience easily. The most advertised goods or things may lead to the high sales of those particular consumer goods. I strongly believe that the high sales of such goods are not the real needs of society in which they are sold. Just because of the aggressive marketing strategy for such goods, they have attained to people even in the remote locations. The internet ad marketing, which is a de-facto medium of income for many mobile applications, social media apps and search engines, has a great impact on consumers' buying habits. For example any gaming or generic app have, by default, Google ads feature installed in consumer's mobile device. The consumer is just looking some information about air conditioners in her search engine app. After sometime, she has started her favourite game to enjoy her evening commute, but what she finds is bit surprising for her. The ads appears at the regular intervals during the game, and showing her the particular air conditioners available in the market or even the store selling air conditioners nearest to her location. Internet marketing is the most demanding strategy for the manufacturing companies to make available to their targetted audience. One can find this very promising as these consumer goods are available widely accross the world, including small villages to metro cities and working class people to high-profile corporates. But I think the purpose is still not reflecting the actual consumer needs. It is quite possible due to aggressive ad marketing, one may end up in buying an ink cartridge at highly competitive price, although she doesn't own any ink jet printer at home. If she wants to buy a printer, she should be provided the available product range for printers. But it is possible that the the company selling cartridge is paying more attention to Google ad marketing than the company selling printers. The consumer may be misguided by the ad strategies of the company and it may be a loss for her as she ended up herself buying cartridge instead.
We are living in the technocratic era, where one has easy access to
Possible agreement error. The noun kind seems to be countable; consider using: "many kinds".
many kind
of communication devices connected to the internet. Everyone
The pronoun 'Everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "uses", "used".
using
their mobile devices along with the
Possible spelling mistake found.
diffrent
type of social media apps. It is quite possible that the most advertised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
or software may reach to the
Possible spelling mistake found.
targetted
audience
easily
. The most advertised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
or things may lead to the high sales of those particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

I
strongly
believe that the high sales of such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
are not the real needs of society in which they
are sold
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the aggressive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
strategy for such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
, they have attained to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
even in the remote locations. The internet ad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
, which is a
Possible spelling mistake found.
de-facto
medium of income for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
mobile applications, social media apps and search engines, has a great impact on consumers' buying habits.

For example
any gaming or generic app have, by default,
Did you mean "Google Ads"?
Google ads
feature installed in consumer's mobile device. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
looking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information about air conditioners in her search engine app. After sometime, she has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
her
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
game to enjoy her evening commute,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
what she finds is
It seems that an article is missing.
bit
surprising for her. The ads
You should probably use "appear".
appears
at the regular intervals during the game, and showing her the particular air conditioners
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
available
in the market or even the store selling air conditioners nearest to her location. Internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
is the most demanding strategy for the manufacturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
available
to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
targetted
audience.

One can find this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
promising as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
available
widely
Possible spelling mistake found.
accross
the world, including
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
villages to metro cities and working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to high-profile
Possible spelling mistake found.
corporates
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the purpose is
still
not reflecting the actual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
needs. It is quite possible due to aggressive ad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
, one may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in buying an ink cartridge at
highly
competitive price, although she doesn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
any ink jet printer at home. If she wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a printer, she should
be provided
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
available
product range for printers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is possible that
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "the" or "the" is left.
the the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
selling cartridge is paying more attention to Google ad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marketing
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
selling printers. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
may
be misguided
by the ad strategies of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
and it may be a loss for her as she ended up herself buying cartridge
instead
.
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IELTS essay Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
390 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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