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Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of society in which they are sold. What extent do you agree or disagree?

Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of society in which they are sold. What extent PmDw
In modern society, Advertisement companies are manipulating the human minds to buy their products by delivering juicy ads. Apart from that, Majority of people refuse to buy anything from these eye-catching ads as it doesn't fulfill their budget or requirement. In my opinion, I completely agree with the statement as nowadays most of the ads are just for show-off and they fail to serve value for money goods. Generally, The mindset behind advertising companies is to create ads that boost their sales. To make their products more trustworthy, They pick social influencers or celebrities to advertise their product. For example, If a highly influenced person is advertising the cloth product then customers will forget about their needs and surely follow his fashion and buy that product to just look like him. Without a doubt, These products looks stunning on television screen but quality differs when it actually arrives. For instance, Popular mobile advertising company named Vivo has tried all the way to phish people through advertisements, But in actual their products won’t last for an year. This happens same with all the bigger names who are hiding behind their cool advertising products, They simply fail when it comes to satisfy consumer’s needs. Because of the technology, People are becoming the product and these big ad companies are serving ads according to one’s recent searches on internet. Which indirectly forces customer to buy the particular product. In conclusion, I want to add that, Nowadays Most People are aware of these dramatic ads and their behavior. So It’s individual’s choice to pick a product of his choice and ignore these promising sceneries. Also, Government should intervene these process and remove the brands that are not serving according to their words.
In modern society, Advertisement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are manipulating the human minds to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
by delivering juicy ads. Apart from that, Majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
refuse to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
anything from these eye-catching ads as it doesn't fulfill their budget or requirement. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement as nowadays most of the ads are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
show-off and
they fail to serve value for money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.

Generally
, The mindset behind advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
is to create ads that boost their sales. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
more trustworthy, They pick social influencers or celebrities to advertise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
For example
, If a
highly
influenced person is advertising the cloth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
then customers will forget about their needs and
surely
follow his fashion and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
look like him.

Without a doubt, These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
Did you mean "watches"?
looks
stunning on television screen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
quality differs when it actually arrives.
For instance
, Popular mobile advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
named
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vivo
has tried all the way to phish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
through advertisements,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in actual their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
won’t last for
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
year. This happens same with all the bigger names who are hiding behind their cool advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, They
simply
fail when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to satisfy consumer’s needs.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are becoming the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
and these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
ad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are serving ads according to one’s recent searches on internet.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
indirectly
forces customer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buy
the particular product.

In conclusion
, I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
that, Nowadays Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are aware of these dramatic ads and their behavior.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
It’s individual’s choice to pick a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
of his choice and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
these promising sceneries.
Also
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should intervene these process and remove the brands that are not serving according to their words.
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IELTS essay Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of society in which they are sold. What extent

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
288 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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