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An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problem does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation?

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problem does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation? NGDN
A well-trained professional from medical, engineering and teaching profession are getting a lots of attraction from high-paid developed countries because of recommended and recognition with other life long benefits, which leaves their own developing or under-developed countries with unskilled professionals to run a race with others. Because of this brain draining from native countries, it is slowing the development pace and shrinking opportunities to bloom with every small steps. By loosing these kind of high-professionals, standard of living eventually decline with their country's economical situation and that will result in pushing already done development to more years back. If well-trained processional from education sector will escalate then new generation will not be able to learn from better experiences from their teachers for bright future and what will be the future with out this vivid development in fresh talented children who are one single hope to move further in this development race.
A well-trained professional from medical, engineering and teaching profession are getting
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a lot" or simply "lots"?
a lots
of attraction from high-paid
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of recommended and recognition with other life long benefits, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leaves
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
developing or under-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
with unskilled professionals to run a race with others.

Because of this
brain draining from native countries, it is slowing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
pace and shrinking opportunities to bloom with every
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
steps. By loosing
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of high-professionals, standard of living
eventually
decline with their country's
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
situation and that will result in pushing already done
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
to more years back. If well-trained processional from education sector will escalate then new generation will not be able to learn from better experiences from their teachers for bright future and what will be the future
This word is usually written together. Did you mean "without"?
with out
this vivid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
in fresh talented children who are one single hope to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
further
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
development
race.

IELTS essay An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problem does this cause? What solutions can you suggest to deal with this situation?

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
151 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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