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Today: the high sales of popular con

Today: the high sales of popular con L9WG8
I disagree to a great extent. Consumers buy popular goods with cares and precautions. I have read an article about how many consumers read the comments before actually buying. The real needs of the society can be split into economic, justice, laws etc. For this question it obviously is the economic part. When consumers buy items, they pay, to both the market and the government. The government than in turn uses taxes to help the society so therefore this entire argument does not stand. If the entire society promotes a kind of, say, mops. People who’ve bought it have been saying how good the handle is, how clean it can wipe the floor. That is a real benefit for cleaner homes and the economy, not the power of advertising. ​However the power of advertising cannot be underestimated. Although most popular goods are worth buying and benefits the society, some aren’t. Case in point: In China there were once a wave of consumers buying “glove claws” for cats. Popular people on the internet had been propagating about how cute and useful it is. However the reality is the glove claws hurt the cat itself by not letting it extract its claw. This can lead to serious paw injuries even causing a cat depression or death. Things such as slime had been advertising: “It’s so squishy, harmless, come and play some” But later scientist found that these so called harmless slime is made of so many poisonous chemicals it can kill a child. Therefore I agree to a fair extent on the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.
I disagree to a great extent.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Consumers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
with cares and precautions. I have read an article about how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
read the comments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
actually buying. The real needs of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
can
be split
into economic, justice, laws etc. For this question it
obviously
is the economic part. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
items, they pay, to both the market and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
than in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
taxes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
therefore
this entire argument does not stand. If the entire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
promotes a kind of, say, mops.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who’ve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
it have been saying how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
the handle is, how clean it can wipe the floor.
That is
a real benefit for cleaner homes and the economy, not the power of advertising.

​
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the power of advertising cannot
be underestimated
. Although most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
are worth buying and benefits the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aren’t. Case in point: In China there were once a wave of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
buying “glove claws” for cats.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Popular
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on the internet had been propagating about how cute and useful it is.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the reality is the glove claws hurt the cat itself by not letting it extract its claw. This can lead to serious paw injuries even causing a cat depression or death. Things such as slime had been advertising: “It’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
squishy, harmless,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
and play
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
”
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
later scientist found that these
It seems that a hyphen is missing.
so called
harmless slime
is made
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
poisonous chemicals it can kill a child.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fair
extent on the high sales of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
in which they
are sold
.
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IELTS essay Today: the high sales of popular con

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
284 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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