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Today, the high sales of consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which the goods are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today, the high sales of consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which the goods are sold. Qr5P
Advertisements nowadays comes in various forms and it is true that they are the reason behind products being purchased by huge number of people, even though they were not really necessities. I highly disagree with this, as in my opinion these are what society exactly needs. Admittedly, we people are easily attracted to something that grabs our attention. Thus, many companies of various goods use this as their main reason in creating advertisements. Billboards, posters in crowded areas, heartwarming commercials in television or radios are among the techniques they commonly used. As a result, once people find it amusing, they do buy these products. This is proven by a product being endorsed by famous celebrities. With their credibility and attractive appearance, these eminent people can be the reason for items to sell out to the public. Most of the time, these are evidenced on products such as cosmetics, cars, fast food/restaurants, wherein the artist will star in attention grabbing commercial and the results are, people are enticed to it. Thus, resulting to huge sales of the products. However, most of the time this is not the case. In my view, people today are more careful with spending their money than ever before. Nowadays, people are smart in choosing the products for themselves thus, they are buying only what they need. The reason why many famous products are being sold out is due to the belief that it could complement the buyer’s needs. For example, the reason why many people wanted the latest car model is because it comes with a new feature that can be used for safety purposes. In terms of cosmetics, the reason why young people are very much into it is because they think that it can help them improve their appearance. Which is a common characteristic that is present during younger years mostly they are self-conscious. On the other hand, the main cause why commercialized fast food and junk foods are being sold easily is because people nowadays are very busy and does not have anymore time to cook for themselves. To conclude, advertising has huge impact on people. But people today are more careful in spending their money, and would buy what they need, it just so happened that these high selling goods are convenient and highly accessible. Furthermore, given the economic difficulties most people are encountering we are more focused on quality and it is believed that it is present on famous goods.
Advertisements nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
in various forms and it is true that they are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
behind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
by huge number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
even though
they were not
really
necessities. I
highly
disagree with this, as in my opinion these are what society exactly needs.

Admittedly
, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
easily
attracted to something that grabs our attention.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
of various
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this as their main
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
in creating advertisements. Billboards, posters in crowded areas, heartwarming commercials in television or radios are among the techniques they
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
As a result
, once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
find it amusing, they do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. This
is proven
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
being endorsed
by
Consider using "celebrities".
famous celebrities
. With their credibility and attractive appearance, these eminent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
for items to sell out to the public. Most of the time, these
are evidenced
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
such as cosmetics, cars,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food/restaurants, wherein the artist will star in attention grabbing commercial and the results are,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are enticed
to it.
Thus
, resulting to huge sales of the products.

However
, most of the time this is not the case. In my view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are more careful with spending their money than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are smart in choosing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
for themselves
thus
, they are buying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
what they need. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
being sold
out is due to the belief that it could complement the buyer’s needs.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
wanted the latest car model is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
with a new feature that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for safety purposes. In terms of cosmetics, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much into it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their appearance.
“Which” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Which
is a common characteristic
that is
present during younger years
mostly
they are self-conscious.
On the other hand
, the main cause why commercialized
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food and junk foods are
being sold
easily
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
nowadays are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
busy and does not have
Make sure that 'anymore' is used as an adverb, not as an adjective. Did you mean "any more"?
anymore
time to cook for themselves.

To conclude
, advertising has huge impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are more careful in spending their money, and would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
what they need, it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
happened that these high selling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
are convenient and
highly
accessible.
Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the economic difficulties most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are encountering we are more focused on quality and it
is believed
that it is present on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
.
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IELTS essay Today, the high sales of consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which the goods are sold.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
409 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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