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Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development? DmYk
Indeed, it is truth that nowadays, technological advancement are more. All around the world, technology is cost effective and easily accessible therefore, many youngsters are working at home as well as teenager also studying from home. If questionsed, I personally believe there are some advantages of this development as well as there are few disadvantages also. Both positive and negative are discussed in ensuing paragraphs. Examining the advantage of this development. The foremost one is that save the transportation costs and time. In other words, some companies and job places are fare from the city therefore, it may be different for both employees and employers to reach their right time. Because of some time public transportation might be lack of time schedule. For example, one observation was conducted by ministry of road transport and highways which shows that around 8 percentage people achieved their destination very late due to traffic congestion. However, there some drawback also. Most important one negative is that it is
Indeed
, it is truth that nowadays, technological advancement are more. All around the world, technology
is cost
effective and
easily
accessible
therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters are working at home
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
also
studying from home. If
Possible spelling mistake found.
questionsed
, I
personally
believe there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages of this development
as well
as there are few disadvantages
also
. Both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
are discussed
in ensuing paragraphs. Examining the advantage of this development. The foremost one is that save the transportation costs and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
In other words
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and job places are fare from the city
therefore
, it may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
for both employees and employers to reach their right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
public transportation might be lack of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
schedule.
For example
, one observation
was conducted
by ministry of road transport and highways which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that around 8 percentage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
achieved their destination
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
late due to traffic congestion.
However
, there
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawback
also
. Most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
is that it
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
is

IELTS essay Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
163 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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