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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Today parents are more involved in their children’s education.

Today parents are more involved in their children’s education. e8Pwp
One of the most important issues of recent decades is the concern of parents about kid’s pedagogical quality. In this respect, the obvious question is whether it is necessary for the families to worry about their children’s learning and try hard for their educational success. Some people may hold the view that families stress in this view is not acceptable and they should let the educational system in schools to lead them in the best way. I contend with this way of thinking and my own feeling on the subject is that emerging new methods and new technologies caused parents to get their kid’s education in priority. I will explicate my viewpoint in the following paragraph. First and foremost, a lot of families nowadays are more educated than their parents in past. In the meantime, this will help them to be sensitive about the educational problems of kids inside and outside of the home by solving their schooling problems make the way smooth, and show the success route to them. Indeed, this thought could have a significant and valuable impact on the development of the educational progress of children. According to the findings of one survey in successful families magazine, I had read that if families have higher education, the probability of their children’s achievement will increase. Therefore, I can tell you the impact of this attention is not something you want to neglect. The second pivotal reason that is worth being taken into account meticulously is that in the past decades most families had more children in the house and can not attention enough to kid’s school obstacles. In my opinion, these days the families with bringing fewer children in their life try to increase life quality and somehow they get involved with their children's educational subjects more than past years. I would like to illustrate my point with an example, a couple of years ago one of my friends establish his startup business, I had asked him how can you succeed in this way, he said, he was born in a family that his parents pay heed to his ideas most of the time and make the route clear for him to expire and develop his thoughts.
One of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issues of recent decades is the concern of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid’s
pedagogical quality. In this respect, the obvious question is whether it is necessary for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
to worry about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
learning and try
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
success.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may hold the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in this view is not
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
acceptable and
they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
system in schools to lead them in the best way. I contend with this way of thinking and my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
feeling on the subject is that emerging new methods and new technologies caused
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid’s
education in priority. I will explicate my viewpoint in the following paragraph.

First
and foremost,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
nowadays are more educated than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
Did you mean: "in the past"?
in past
. In the meantime, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to be sensitive about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
problems of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
inside and
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the home by solving their schooling problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the way smooth, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the success route to them.
Indeed
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
could have a significant and valuable impact on the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
progress of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. According to the findings of one survey in successful
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "families'" or "family's"?
families
magazine, I had read that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
have higher education, the probability of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
achievement will increase.
Therefore
, I can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
you the impact of this attention is not something you want to neglect.

The second pivotal reason
that is
worth
being taken
into account
meticulously
is that in the past decades most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
had more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and can not attention
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid’s
school obstacles. In my opinion, these days the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
with bringing fewer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in their life try to increase life quality and somehow they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved with their children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educational
subjects more than past years. I would like to illustrate my point with an example, a couple of years ago one of my friends establish his startup business, I had asked him how can you succeed in this way, he said, he
was born
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
that his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
pay heed to his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
most of the time and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the route
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
for him to expire and develop his thoughts.
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IELTS essay Today parents are more involved in their children’s education.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
369 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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