Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some countries use prisons as primarily as a punishment for criminals. Other countries use them to rehabilitate prisoners so they can be useful members of society

Some countries use prisons as primarily as a punishment for criminals. Other countries use them to rehabilitate prisoners so they can be useful members of society JYNYD
There are some countries where jails are used as a way of keeping offenders in distance from society, and at the same time there other countries in which prisons is the way to help and prepare criminals to be useful part of society. I believe that the main role of jails should be rehabilitating offenders and prevent their tendency to commit crime. On the one hand, countries where prisons realized as the only way of punishment, considered as a better position to prevent people to commit crime by sentencing them for long periods. For example, the countries were prisons deterrent people with their severe conditions might stop and demotivate from doing crimes. On the other hand, there countries which successfully implemented the rehabilitation structures, which are used for criminals, as another opportunity to become useful members of society. The way how this countries help to prisoners is interesting as they can help to society by working in environment saving programs, social works or even prisons launched some education programs to prepare offenders after prison life. This rehabilitation in prisons may guarantee to decrease crime rates in the country as criminals become part of society and find jobs after sentence period ends. Therefore, giving one more chance to criminals is the better way to prevent and decrease crime rates. In conclusion, I can understand why some countries use prisons as the severe punishment, but I believe the best way is to rehabilitate offenders, as it will have more benefits for all of us.
There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where jails are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as a way of keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
in distance from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, and at the same time there other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "am", "are", "aren".
is
the way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
to be useful part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. I believe that the main role of jails should be rehabilitating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
their tendency to commit crime.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
realized as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
way of punishment, considered as a better position to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to commit crime by sentencing them for long periods.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
deterrent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
with their severe conditions might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
and demotivate from doing crimes.

On the other hand
, there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which
successfully
implemented the rehabilitation structures, which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
, as another opportunity to become useful members of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. The way how this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to prisoners is interesting as they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
by working in environment saving programs, social works or even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
launched
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
education programs to prepare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prison
life. This rehabilitation in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
may guarantee to decrease crime rates in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
become part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and find jobs after sentence period ends.
Therefore
, giving one more chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
is the better way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
and decrease crime rates.

In conclusion
, I can understand why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prisons
as the severe punishment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe the best way is to rehabilitate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
offenders
, as it will have more benefits for all of us.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some countries use prisons as primarily as a punishment for criminals. Other countries use them to rehabilitate prisoners so they can be useful members of society

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
252 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some countries use prisons as primarily as a punishment for criminals. Other countries use them to rehabilitate prisoners so they can be useful members of society