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today more people are travelling then even before. why is this the case? what are the benefits of travelling?

today more people are travelling then even before. why is this the case? what are the benefits of travelling? NxQy
Each year, millions of people visit other countries and spend their leisure time there. Actually, the number of travelers is growing year after year. There are many reasons behind this trend and the most important among them is the rise in the income and living standards of people. People are traveling because they can afford it. Thanks to advances in technology, air travel has become considerably cheap; as a result, more and more people can visit foreign countries. In addition, people have become more curious. They read about foreign countries on the internet and watch programmes on television. This exposure makes them want to visit those countries so that they can experience everything first hand. They want to taste exotic dishes they have never eaten before and celebrate unique and colourful festivals they have only seen on TV. Traveling, after all, is the best way to learn and discover new things. Traveling benefits people in many ways. To start with, it is a good way for people to learn about the world. When they travel they get exposed to various cultures. They get to learn new languages and interact with new and interesting people. This exposure makes them tolerant and enhances their world view. Take myself as an example. I have been in France for a year as an exchange student. During this period, I have learned a great deal about the French culture. For instance, I have visited lots of museums and galleries in Paris and as a result, I now appreciate beauty in a more sensitive way. In addition, I have become more appreciative of differences. I now understand that customs, traditions, languages and skin colour are all unique to a country and need to be respected. In short, my travels have made me a better and more tolerant person. Every traveler has similar stories to share. To conclude, more and more people are traveling because of their natural curiosity and also because they can afford it. In my opinion, this is a positive development because it promotes learning and understanding.
Each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
, millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visit other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and spend their leisure time there. Actually, the number of travelers is growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
after
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year
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons behind this trend and the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
among them is the rise in the income and living standards of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are traveling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can afford it. Thanks to advances in technology, air travel has become
considerably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
;
as a result
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can visit foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have become more curious. They read about foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
on the internet and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
on television. This exposure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them want to visit those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can experience everything
first
hand. They want to taste exotic dishes they have never eaten
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
and celebrate unique and
Possible spelling mistake. 'colourful' is British English.
colourful
festivals they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on TV. Traveling,
after all
, is the best way to learn and discover new things. Traveling benefits
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people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to learn about the world.
“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
they travel they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
exposed to various cultures. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to learn new languages and interact with new and interesting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This exposure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them tolerant and enhances their world view. Take myself as an example. I have been in France for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
as an exchange student. During this period, I have learned a great deal about the French culture.
For instance
, I have visited lots of museums and galleries in Paris and
as a result
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
appreciate beauty in a more sensitive way.
In addition
, I have become more appreciative of differences. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
understand that customs, traditions, languages and skin
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
are all unique to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and need to
be respected
. In short, my travels have made me a better and more tolerant person. Every traveler has similar stories to share.

To conclude
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are traveling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their natural curiosity and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can afford it. In my opinion, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it promotes learning and understanding.
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IELTS essay today more people are travelling then even before. why is this the case? what are the benefits of travelling?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
343 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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