Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some school’s agree that, fast food restaurants and supermarkets can promote their products in school and that school’s benefits from it. Is it a positive or negative development?

Some school’s agree that, fast food restaurants and supermarkets can promote their products in school and that school’s benefits from it. Is it a positive or negative development? OxYj
Advertisement’s is an inevitable factor of business. Some school managements confirms that, it is right to promote the items of fast food restaurants and supermarkets at the school premises thereby institution get advantages from it. In my opinion, the promotion of this idea would harmful to students. First of all, it leads to the formation of bad behaviour in students. They might think that it is just a good thing, due to which happening in the school premise. Since the food items in such places are attractive they may buy items from it This eventually create an addiction towards such things. For that, they will ask for huge money to parents Consequently, they become squander the money. If such parents cannot afford such huge money, they perhaps fights for amount this accordingly create a stubborn nature on them. As a result, these would be make a negative character on students there by they become big threat to the society. Moreover, such matters affect their health seriously. As we all know such kind of hotels and shops provide junk foods like hotdog, sandwich, burger and so on. Due to the high amount of fatty contents in such food items will create life style diseases like cancer, Atherosclerosis( kind of disease which affect the intestine), obesity. For instance, a research held by a group of medical students in British university since 2016 found that approximately 70 % of students died due to the obesity and about 30% of pupil’s are dying due to such diseases. If such idea promote in the school premises, it will badly affect the health of them. In conclusion, unlike to the past the number of institutions who promoting this idea compared to the past inclined. Since it affect the health and behaviour of children, this kind of promotions should not be encouraged to school.
Advertisement’s is an inevitable factor of business.
Some
school
managements confirms that, it is right to promote the
items
of
fast
food
restaurants and supermarkets at the
school
premises thereby institution
get
advantages from it. In my opinion, the promotion of this
idea
would harmful to students.

First of all
, it leads to the formation of
bad
behaviour
in
students
. They might
think
that it is
just
a
good
thing,
due
to which happening in the
school
premise.
Since
the
food
items
in such places are attractive they may
buy
items
from it This
eventually
create an addiction towards such things. For that, they will
ask for
huge money to parents
Consequently
, they become squander the money. If such parents cannot afford such huge money, they perhaps fights for amount this
accordingly
create a stubborn nature on them.
As a result
, these would be
make
a
negative
character on
students
there by they become
big
threat to the society.

Moreover
, such matters
affect
their health
seriously
. As we all know such kind of hotels and shops provide junk
foods
like
hotdog
, sandwich, burger and
so
on.
Due
to the high amount of fatty contents in such
food
items
will create life style diseases like cancer, Atherosclerosis
(
kind of disease which
affect
the intestine), obesity.
For instance
,
a research
held by a group of medical
students
in British university since 2016 found that approximately 70 % of
students
died
due
to the obesity and about 30% of
pupil’s
are dying
due
to such diseases. If such
idea
promote in the
school
premises, it will
badly
affect
the health of them.

In conclusion
, unlike to the past the number of institutions who promoting this
idea
compared to the past inclined. Since it
affect
the health and
behaviour
of children, this kind of promotions should not
be encouraged
to
school
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some school’s agree that, fast food restaurants and supermarkets can promote their products in school and that school’s benefits from it. Is it a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts