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How to deal with traffic jams

How to deal with traffic jams 1oMLL
In the world of globalization which every minutes is being count, it can't deny that people are living in rush all day and night. People love convenient, however they normally forget that in every breathing, they also create a serious problem such as traffic jams especially those who live in large cities. If this challenge is not being solved, it will lead to a worse situation such as air pollution. Here is some tips that people can take a note to deal with this problem. First and foremost, we should use public transport for transportation in our daily life instead of using our own vehicles such as car or motorcycle. Using public transport is the best way of diminishing traffic jams as people could be gathering in one vehicles. As a consequence, the number of using one's own vehicles could be decreased. In addition, residing at the place nearby your workplace also one of the good way to reduce traffic jams as we can can go to work by just walking. This is not only for saving your money but also giving a chance to do a small exercise while heading to the destination. Besides, traffic jam issues are definitely could be resolved. Furthermore, the government should take an action by building more road lines to reduce the number of transportation being stuck in one place. As the results, the vehicles could move freely. The more we have the road lines, the more traffic jams could be decreased. To conclude what I have mentioned, there are many ways to overcome traffic jams problems such as using public transport, residing nearby the workplace, and government should build more road lines. Note that as fast as we implement all the suggestions above, the faster we could eliminate traffic jams in our society.
In the world of globalization which every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "minute"?
minutes
You should probably use: "are".
is
being count, it can't deny that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are living in rush all day and night.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
convenient,
however
they
normally
forget that in every breathing, they
also
create a serious problem such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams
especially
those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in large cities. If this challenge is not
being solved
, it will lead to a worse situation such as air pollution. Here is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tips that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can take a note to deal with this problem.

First
and foremost, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transport for transportation in our daily life
instead
of using our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
such as car or motorcycle. Using public transport is the best way of diminishing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could be gathering in one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
. As a consequence, the number of using one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
could
be decreased
.

In addition
, residing at the place nearby your workplace
also
one of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams as we
Possible typo: you repeated a word
can can
go to work by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
walking. This is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for saving your money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
giving a chance to do a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
exercise while heading to the destination.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam issues are definitely could
be resolved
.

Furthermore
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take an action by building more road lines to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of transportation
being stuck
in one place. As the results, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
vehicles
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
freely
. The more we have the road lines, the more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams could
be decreased
.

To conclude
what I have mentioned, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways to overcome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams problems such as using public transport, residing nearby the workplace, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should build more road lines. Note that as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
as we implement all the suggestions above, the faster we could eliminate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams in our society.
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IELTS essay How to deal with traffic jams

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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