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Today, more and more young children have electronic gadgets such as computer and mobile phones. Some people say it is a positive development .Do you agree or disagree

Today, more and more young children have electronic gadgets such as computer and mobile phones. Some people say it is a positive development. KnA60
As per few, nowadays most of the children having electronic devices is a favourable development. In my opinion, despite, being beneficial, as supports cooperation and being independent, it could lead to negative behavior and deteriorated health. Because of this, it is a negative progress. At the onset, as compared to the millenials today's children find it easier to cope-up with the technology because they receive them earlier. In other words, using technological devices at a young age trains them to retrieve information by themselves. As a result, they become independent. Similarly, information technology also helps in education. Online classes, for example, the schools began during the pandemic, students who were not much familiar with this felt hesitant to attend them. Therefore, it allows them to be confident. Having such gadgets, on the other hand, cannot only affect the social behavior of a child but also impact health. Firstly, interesting features of mobile phones develop an addiction in the children due to which, they stay glued to their mobile phone screens. Consequently, they avoid going outside to play, encouraging them to become lethargic and resulting into deterioration of health. Futthermore, it can be reason behind serious issues such as weak-eye-sight and depression. Henceforth, childrens' health must not be put at risk under the guise of its benefits. To conclude, although it has numerous advantages like training at young age makes cooperating with world and staying confident simpler, yet it can have negative effects on their social circle and health. So, this development should not be encouraged.
As per few, nowadays most of the children having electronic devices is a
favourable
development. In my opinion, despite, being beneficial, as supports cooperation and being independent, it could lead to
negative
behavior and deteriorated
health
.
Because of this
, it is a
negative
progress.

At the onset, as compared to the
millenials
today
's children find it easier to cope-up with the technology
because
they receive them earlier.
In other words
, using technological devices at a young age trains them to retrieve information by themselves.
As a result
, they become independent.
Similarly
, information technology
also
helps
in education. Online classes,
for example
, the schools began during the pandemic, students who were not much familiar with this felt hesitant to attend them.
Therefore
, it
allows
them to be confident.

Having such gadgets,
on the other hand
, cannot
only
affect the social behavior of a child
but
also
impact
health
.
Firstly
, interesting features of mobile phones develop an addiction in the children due to which, they stay glued to their mobile phone screens.
Consequently
, they avoid going outside to play, encouraging them to become lethargic and resulting into deterioration of
health
.
Futthermore
, it can be reason behind serious issues such as weak-eye-sight and depression. Henceforth,
childrens
'
health
must
not
be put
at
risk
under the guise of its benefits.

To conclude
, although it has numerous advantages like training at young age
makes
cooperating with world and staying confident simpler,
yet
it can have
negative
effects on their social circle and
health
.
So
, this development should not
be encouraged
.
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IELTS essay Today, more and more young children have electronic gadgets such as computer and mobile phones. Some people say it is a positive development.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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