Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for people who visit such places? v.44

In the modern era, a number of tourists are exploring new places such as Sahara desert or the Antractic where weather condition extreme hard. This is mainly because of people know new place but there are some drawbacks as well that will be discuss in ensuing paragraphs. Admittedly, first benefit of visit such extreme place is a individual can learn about new things. In other word, they can know about how people survival in there weather condition also they might get details about nature. For example, Sahara desert, their weather environments very hot compare to other part of the world. Humans are visit this place and not just experience living lifestyle but also do some adventure activities and learn how to survival in those condition. In addition, place which have very hard survival condition might be develop because of truisms industry, their local people can earn money for this. This mainly because place there are not other source of income so it may play vital role for local community development. Despite, however, above advantages, there are some drawbacks as well, firstly, to visit place where conditions are difficult they could put mankind life in dangerous, this is mainly because of unpredicted weather condition. For example, every year there are numerous people part in tracking activities in Mount Everest and they put their life in risk, and many of them lose their life in this activities. Moreover, increase number of visitors at extreme place, this could be lead pollution issues. More and more people visit those place and harm enjoinment due to their unresponsible behaviors. As per research, due to mankind visit antactic palce their pollution level is rise compare to past. In conclusion, people visiting places where conditions are difficult it may helpful to lrean about new place and also development of those place. However, this is more risk for humans life and also increase pollution is main drawbacks.
In the modern era, a number of tourists are exploring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
such
A determiner is probably missing here: “as the Sahara desert”.
as Sahara desert
or the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Antractic
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
extreme
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
. This is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
know
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks
as well
that will be
Consider using the past participle “discussed”.
discuss
in ensuing paragraphs.

Admittedly
,
first
benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
such extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is
Use “an” instead of ‘a’ if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘an article’, ‘an hour’.
a
individual can learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things. In other word, they can know about how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
survival in there
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
also
they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
about nature.
For example
, Sahara desert, their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
environments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
hot compare to other part of the world. Humans are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
and not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
experience living lifestyle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adventure activities and learn how to survival in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
which have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
survival
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
might be
Consider using the past participle “developed”.
develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of truisms industry, their local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can earn money for this. This
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
there are not other source of income
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it may play vital role for local community development.

Despite,
however
, above advantages, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks
as well
,
firstly
, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where conditions are difficult they could put mankind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
, this is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of unpredicted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
.
For example
, every year there are numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
part in tracking activities in Mount
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
Everest and
they put their
Did you mean “lives”?
life
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of them lose their
Did you mean “lives”?
life
in
‘This’ does not seem to match the plural noun ‘activities’. Did you mean “these”?
this
activities.
Moreover
, increase number of visitors at extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
, this could be lead pollution issues. More and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
and harm
Possible spelling mistake found.
enjoinment
due to their
Possible spelling mistake found.
unresponsible
behaviors. As per research, due to mankind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
visit
Possible spelling mistake found.
antactic
Possible spelling mistake found.
palce
their pollution level is rise compare to past.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where conditions are difficult it
A verb may be missing. Did you mean “may be helpful”?
may helpful
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
lrean
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
and
also
development of those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
However
, this is more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
for humans
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and
also
increase pollution is main drawbacks.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad
Show Comments
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as sahara desert or the antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
319 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts