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Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v.33

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 33
There is a saying “chase your dreams”. Certain people chase the things which get them excited about living, give them hope and happiness. Travelling is one of those things which many people chase. Such people want to travel around the world, including those places where climate conditions are not good. In the following paragraphs, we shall discuss the benefits and disadvantages of visiting places like the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic. There are many benefits of visiting extreme condition places to humanity and to a traveller himself. To begin with, a traveller can experience the untouched landscape and admire the natural beauty in its original form. Secondly, tourists can help meteorological experts in collecting the fossils and samples of that area so that they can study it and provide the world with more information regarding those places. On the other hand, tourists who want to visit such places may face some difficulties. To begin with, there are no resources of food and drink in such places so, people visiting those areas have to carry sufficient resource to survive there. Secondly, the climatic conditions can vary at any time, so they should be able to protect themselves from such disaster. To do so, they should carry protection gears. Also, there is no guarantee that the place where they are going is safe for human or not. In conclusion, if a person dreamt of travelling the places where weather conditions are extreme and he chase his dream because it gives him a hope of living, then it is worth visiting such places even if he has to face many difficulties. I believe that visiting such places without harming the nature is an experience.
There is a saying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“chase
your dreams”. Certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chase
the things which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
them excited about living, give them hope and happiness. Travelling is one of those things which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chase
. Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to travel around the world, including those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where climate conditions are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. In the following paragraphs, we shall discuss the benefits and disadvantages of visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
like the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits of visiting extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to humanity and to a
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
himself. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, a
Possible spelling mistake found.
traveller
can experience the untouched landscape and admire the natural beauty in its original form.
Secondly
, tourists can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
meteorological experts in collecting the fossils and samples of that area
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can study it and provide the world with more information regarding those places.

On the other hand
, tourists who want to visit such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
may face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulties. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are no resources of food and drink in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
visiting those areas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
carry sufficient resource to survive there.
Secondly
, the climatic conditions can vary at any time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they should be able to protect themselves from such disaster. To do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they should carry protection gears.
Also
, there is no guarantee that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
where they are going is safe for human or not.

In conclusion
, if a person dreamt of travelling the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where weather conditions are
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
extreme and
he
The pronoun 'he' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "chases", "chased".
chase
his dream
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it gives him a hope of living, then it is worth visiting such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
even if he
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
face
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficulties. I believe that visiting such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
without harming the nature is an experience.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara Desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 33

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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