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Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for people who visit such places? v.23

Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for people who visit such places? v. 23
Today, tourism has acquired diverse dimension and people are heading more towards the areas where conditions are uninhabited. However, there are some benefits like improving abilities and gain experience by taking risk but there are some drawbacks such as life threatening and have not proper health care. One of the biggest benefits of undertaking difficult journey is that they can improve their confidence on their skills. Well, the journey can be physically and mentally exhausted as these kind of tours require a tremendous effort and stamina to reach their destination. It may also improve their inner potential not to leave their journey in half way. Additionally, travellers can gain their experience by taking risk. As they are aware of the risks, yet they want to enjoy the thrill and adventure. Life in such places will be totally different from current life. They also have the chance to explore unexploited landscape and wildlife. On the other hand, these adventure tours can be very dangerous and threatens the excursionist life’s. Some incident can cause serious injury and leads to death of the explorer. For example, if you are travelling to the desert and forget to zip your tent properly at night you may be visited by some dangerous snakes. Its single poisonous bite can be very harmful. Furthermore, in such places, the other drawback is may not have proper health care and medical aid. For example, if any tripper is injured and did not get any treatment on time, it will lead to death. To conclude, although travelling towards such remote areas are adventurous and improving the capabilities. But these may also be very dangerous. It is good to enhance their confidence, but don’t put your life in danger.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, tourism has acquired diverse dimension and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are heading more towards the areas where conditions
are uninhabited
.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits like improving abilities and gain experience by taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
threatening and have not proper health care.

One of the biggest benefits of undertaking difficult journey is that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their confidence on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Well, the journey can be
physically
and mentally exhausted as
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of tours require a tremendous effort and stamina to reach their destination. It may
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their inner potential not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their journey in
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
half way
.
Additionally
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
can gain their experience by taking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
. As they are aware of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
,
yet
they want to enjoy the thrill and adventure.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Life
in such places will be
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. They
also
have the chance to explore unexploited landscape and wildlife.

On the other hand
, these adventure tours can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and threatens the excursionist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life’s
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
incident can cause serious injury and leads to death of the explorer.
For example
, if you are travelling to the desert and forget to zip your tent
properly
at night you may
be visited
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
snakes. Its single poisonous bite can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful.
Furthermore
, in such places, the other drawback is may not have proper health care and medical aid.
For example
, if any tripper
is injured
and did not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
any treatment on time, it will lead to death.

To conclude
, although travelling towards such remote areas are adventurous and improving the capabilities.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
these may
also
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to enhance their confidence,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
don’t put your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Today, more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for people who visit such places? v. 23

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
287 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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