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Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as Sahara or Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places. v.1

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as Sahara or Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places. v. 1
Many visitors are showing their interest to visit troublesome places, like Sahara deserts or the Antartic in the present time. Although tourists can gain various exciting experiences from an adventurous trip, there are many drawbacks to be taken into account. Firstly, one of the advantages of touring in challenging place is that it is full of adventure. Those, who travel on regularly, may get bored by seeing normal touring spots, so that an adventurous journey can become a blessing for them. Secondly, if one wants to enjoy the beauty of nature closely, then he needs to go through some troublesome ways. For example, to see the animals of the Amazon jungle, one has to stay in the wood for a couple of days without any support of modern facilities. On the other hand, the major problem of travelling awkward place is that there are no facilities for tourists. In some places, it is totally difficult to provide any kind of emergency support, such as medical or security facilities. For instance, on the peak of the Mount Everest, if a person needs instant medical help, it will be very difficult for him to get because of the unfavourable weather. Not only the transportation problem could occur in such place, but also there might be no proper telecommunication system. Another possible problem is the lack of food shops. One must have to carry own food items to eat and water to drink. In conclusion, while it is beneficial to have an adventurous experience of moving into a region where conditions are extreme in many ways, but it can lead to a difficult situation, such as no medical support or no food or water.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
visitors are showing their interest to visit troublesome
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, like Sahara deserts or the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Antartic
in the present time. Although tourists can gain various exciting experiences from an adventurous trip, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks to
be taken
into account.

Firstly
, one of the advantages of touring in challenging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is that it is full of adventure. Those, who travel on
regularly
, may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bored by seeing normal touring spots,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that an adventurous journey can become a blessing for them.
Secondly
, if one wants to enjoy the beauty of nature
closely
, then he needs to go through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
troublesome ways.
For example
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the animals of the Amazon jungle, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
stay in the wood for a couple of days without any support of modern facilities.

On the other hand
, the major problem of travelling awkward
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
is that there are no facilities for tourists. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, it is
totally
difficult to provide any kind of emergency support, such as medical or security facilities.
For instance
, on the peak of the Mount Everest, if a person needs instant medical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
, it will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for him to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
weather. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the transportation problem could occur in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
there might be no proper telecommunication system. Another possible problem is the lack of food shops. One
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
carry
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
food items to eat and water to drink.

In conclusion
, while it is beneficial to have an adventurous experience of moving into a region where conditions are extreme in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it can lead to a difficult situation, such as no medical support or no food or water.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Speak a new language so that the world will be a new world.
Rumi

IELTS essay Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as Sahara or Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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