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Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v.4

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 4
Visiting remote places is becoming more popular nowadays. This kind of tourism offers new opportunities to travellers but it also has its drawbacks. In this essay I shall discuss the advantages and disadvantages of visiting areas where conditions are rough. To begin with, certain landscapes and natural wonders located only in remote areas are unique and cannot be seen anywhere else in the world. No landscape is comparable to the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. If one wants to explore the wild nature and breathtaking scenery, one has to deal with difficult terrain. A clear example of that is the testimony of the Norwegian explorer Ann Straus. Straus, after enduring the perils of the Antarctic winter for 6 months describes in his biography one of the most beautiful sunrises ever seen by the human eye. Thus, it is evident that there are some worthwhile places where conditions do not allow regular tourism. On the other hand, venturing into wild places can be extremely dangerous as well. Many rookie adventurers and travellers perished / lost their lives while exploring unexplored lands. For example, the Red Cross warned that in the last two decades the casualties related with this kind of tourism increased by 75%. It is not hard to see that sometimes the price for venturing into such areas is too high. To conclude, some of the most beautiful landscapes on Earth are found only in extremely dangerous areas. While the memories of such trips will remain etched in the mind for a long time, they can be quite dangerous and the travelers may even lose their lives. In the future, perhaps some travel companies will organise tours to these locations so these gifts of nature could be safely enjoyed by everyone.
Visiting remote places is becoming more popular nowadays. This kind of tourism offers new opportunities to
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travellers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
also
has its drawbacks. In this essay I shall discuss the advantages and disadvantages of visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
where conditions are rough.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, certain landscapes and natural wonders located
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
are unique and cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
anywhere else in the world. No landscape is comparable to the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. If one wants to explore the wild nature and breathtaking scenery, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
deal with difficult terrain. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example of
that is
the testimony of the Norwegian explorer Ann
Possible spelling mistake found.
Straus
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Straus
, after enduring the perils of the Antarctic winter for 6 months
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describes
in his biography one of the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
sunrises ever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
by the human eye.
Thus
, it is evident that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
worthwhile places where conditions do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
regular tourism.

On the other hand
, venturing into wild places can be
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
as well
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
rookie adventurers and
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
perished / lost their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
while exploring unexplored lands.
For example
, the Red Cross warned that in the last two decades the casualties related with this kind of tourism increased by 75%. It is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the price for venturing into such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is too high.

To conclude
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
landscapes on Earth
are found
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in
extremely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. While the memories of such trips will remain etched in the mind for a long time, they can be quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and the travelers may even lose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In the future, perhaps
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
travel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
will
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
tours to these locations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
these gifts of nature could be
safely
enjoyed by everyone.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Change your language and you change your thoughts.
Karl Albrecht

IELTS essay Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places? v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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