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Today, more and more people use robots to do tasks at home and at work. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Why?

Today, more and more people use robots to do tasks at home and at work. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Why? 6nBK
Today, technology has become an essential part of our work and life so much so that there is a dramatic increase in the number of tasks performed by robots. In my perspective, there are several economic and sociological reasons behind this positive development. Firstly, people’s lifestyle has become more dynamic and demanding. That means people need to study and work more to achieve their progressive objectives. Consequently, people are relying more and more on technology to do the basic tasks such as house cleaning and food preparation. For example, the number of people in the USA who use cleaning robots such as ROMBA are rapidly increasing due to the abundant time savings. Hence, by using advanced technologies people can save time for working or studying and achieve their big goals. Secondly, this demanding lifestyle has pushed people far from their families; which, in turn, afflicted their social connections due to the shortage of free time. Therefore, people are now employing robots to save time for their social life. For instance, people in Japan use robots to prepare their breakfast while they chat. Undoubtedly, that utilization of technology improves people’s social life significantly and invigorates their business networks. Thus, the usage of robots at work and home enables people to save time and use it for other more fulfilling tasks. To sum up, advanced technology has reached people’s work and homes. This great development makes their life more comfortable and stimulates them to focus on their goals while robots do their daily tasks. I believe that such improvement is crucial to enhance people’s well-being.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
,
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technology
has become an essential part of our
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work
and
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life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that there is a dramatic increase in the number of tasks performed by robots. In my perspective, there are several economic and sociological reasons behind this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
lifestyle has become more dynamic and demanding. That means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to study and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more to achieve their progressive objectives.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are relying more and more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
to do the basic tasks such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
cleaning and food preparation.
For example
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the USA who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
cleaning robots such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
ROMBA
are
rapidly
increasing due to the abundant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
savings.
Hence
, by using advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for working or studying and achieve their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
goals.

Secondly
, this demanding lifestyle has pushed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
far from their families; which, in turn, afflicted their social connections due to the shortage of free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
employing robots to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in Japan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
robots to prepare their breakfast while they chat.
Undoubtedly
, that utilization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
significantly
and invigorates their business networks.
Thus
, the usage of robots at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and home enables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it for other more fulfilling tasks.

To sum up, advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has reached
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and homes. This great development
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
more comfortable and stimulates them to focus on their goals while robots do their daily tasks. I believe that such improvement is crucial to enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
well-being.
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IELTS essay Today, more and more people use robots to do tasks at home and at work. Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Why?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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