Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Today, more and more children have mobile phones. Some people say that this is a negative change. Do you agree or disagree?

Today, more and more children have mobile phones. Some people say that this is a negative change. 3bEMm
Mobile phones have radically altered the way that people work, socialize and entertain themselves, regardless of age. Apparently, the number of children who possess cell phones is increasing nowadays, and it is true that some people think that this change is disadvantageous. I disagree with the idea that having mobile phones has a negative impact on children. On the one hand, I believe that mobile devices are a useful tools that helps children to keep in touch easily with their parents or whoever can help them in case of emergency. In the case of any accidents, like a car crash, a phone can be the only immediate connection between parents or organization and children since public payphones are uneasy to find these days. Carrying a mobile phone with them, children can inform their parents or report to emergency staff about the urgent situation or if they are safe or not right away. This is why having mobile phones is helpful for children. Another reason why children having cell phones is advantageous is that children are more encouraged to seek answers by themselves. When they encounter any obstacles or problems on learning new skills or being curious of things around them, they can use applications on their phones to search any information. If children want to learn how to draw flowers or cats, for example, all they need to do is to use Google browser or Youtube to check on website or videos for tutorials. This instant help they obtain through cellphones makes children voluntarily to gain knowledge. On the other hand, there are people who stress that more children having mobile devices is a negative change as they believe that portable phones can be a distraction to academic performances. Many children bring their cell phones along with them to schools, and play games or chat with friends during breaks, or even in or during class. This results in children ignoring classes, failing important subjects, and being clueless about studies and examinations. However, one should bear in mind that phones can be restricted at class time or homework time. In conclusion, using mobile phones can be viewed as a distraction for children on their studies. However, looking deeper into what merits phones can bring to children – the ability to quickly communicate in emergency and the convenience of seeking information. I am of the strong opinion that mobile devices are beneficial to children.
Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have
radically
altered the way that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
work, socialize and entertain themselves, regardless of age.
Apparently
, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who possess cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
is increasing nowadays, and it is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is disadvantageous. I disagree with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on children.

On the one hand, I believe that mobile devices are a useful tools that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
in touch
easily
with their parents or whoever can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in case of emergency. In the case of any accidents, like a car crash, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
can be the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
immediate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
connection between
parents or organization and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
since public payphones are uneasy to find these days. Carrying a mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
with them,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can inform their parents or report to emergency staff about the urgent situation or if they are safe or not right away. This is why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
is helpful for children.

Another reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
is advantageous is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are more encouraged to seek answers by themselves. When they encounter any obstacles or problems on learning new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or being curious of things around them, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
applications on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
to search any information. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
want to learn how to draw flowers or cats,
for example
, all they need to do is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Google browser or
Possible spelling mistake found.
Youtube
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
on website or videos for tutorials. This instant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
they obtain through cellphones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
voluntarily
to gain knowledge.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
mobile devices is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
as they believe that portable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can be a distraction to academic performances.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
bring their cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
along with them to schools, and play games or chat with friends during breaks, or even in or during
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
. This results in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
ignoring classes, failing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
subjects, and being clueless about studies and examinations.
However
, one should bear in mind that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can
be restricted
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
time or homework time.

In conclusion
, using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can
be viewed
as a distraction for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
on their studies.
However
, looking deeper into what merits
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can bring to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
–
the ability to
quickly
communicate in emergency and the convenience of seeking information. I am of the strong opinion that mobile devices are beneficial to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Today, more and more children have mobile phones. Some people say that this is a negative change.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
402 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts