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Today many Young people say that their mobile phone is the most important that they own is popularity of it's among Young people is good or bad thing

Today many Young people say that their mobile phone is the most important that they own is popularity of it's among Young people is good or bad thing EpYjR
With the advancement in technology, many changes occurred in the lifestyle of people but popularity of mobile phones are more among youngsters. An array of society deem that nowadays, many youngsters give more preference to phones than human values. I strongly opine that it's famousness is bad development among youngsters. It has more drawbacks than merits of it's popularity. This essay will discuss this technology brings more demerits than benefits
With the advancement in technology,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
occurred in the lifestyle of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
popularity of mobile phones are more among youngsters. An array of society deem that nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
youngsters give more preference to phones than human values. I
strongly
opine that it's
Possible spelling mistake found.
famousness
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
development among youngsters. It has more drawbacks than merits
Did you mean "of its popularity"?
of it's popularity
. This essay will discuss this technology brings more demerits than
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
benefits

IELTS essay Today many Young people say that their mobile phone is the most important that they own is popularity of it's among Young people is good or bad thing

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
69 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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