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Teaching children at home is best for a child's development

Teaching children at home is best for a child's development KWDBw
Education is a vital element in a child's development. Over the past years, there have been a lot of options on how the parents want their children to attain an excellent education. Hence it brought the argument on being homeschool and being enrolled in a school. In this essay, I will explore both viewpoints before reaching a reasonable conclusion. There are groups of people who consider homeschooling has many benefits for a child's growth. For instance, a student studying at home can get personal attention from parents which results in good academic results. Furthermore, parents are aware of their child’s weakness and can help him to cope with difficulties. Thus, it can be said that children can learn their subjects at the pace in which they are comfortable and this can help them to excel in studies. On the other hand, many consider schools as the required element in student growth. Educational institutions, for example, concentrate on teaching moral values like tolerance and sharing along with studies. Moreover, they are encouraged to perform tasks in a team, enabling them to learn teamwork and not be disheartened by failure. Therefore, chances of suffering from depression are reduced to a greater extent in case he doesn’t get what he desires in the real world. In a nutshell, it can be seen that both the viewpoints have their own merits and demerits, but in my opinion, attending school provide a wide range of necessary information as well as skills that children will help them develop well. Even though attending school is beneficial, education supplementation from home will help students to attain a high level of education. School and home teaching will greatly help students understand more and help them build their character and attitudes that will help them in the near future.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
is a vital element in a child's development. Over the past years, there have been
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
options on how the parents want their children to attain an excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
it brought the argument on being
Consider using a past participle here: "homeschooled".
homeschool
and
being enrolled
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In this essay, I will explore both viewpoints
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching a reasonable conclusion.

There are groups of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who consider homeschooling has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for a child's growth.
For instance
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
studying at home can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
personal attention from parents which results in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
academic results.
Furthermore
, parents are aware of their child’s weakness and can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
him to cope with difficulties.
Thus
, it can
be said
that children can learn their subjects at the pace in which they are comfortable and this can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to excel in studies.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
as the required element in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
growth. Educational institutions,
for example
, concentrate on teaching moral values like tolerance and sharing along with studies.
Moreover
, they
are encouraged
to perform tasks in a team, enabling them to learn teamwork and not
be disheartened
by failure.
Therefore
, chances of suffering from depression are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
to a greater extent in case he doesn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
what he desires in the real world.

In a nutshell, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that both the viewpoints have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits and demerits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion, attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
provide a wide range of necessary information
as well
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that children will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them develop well.
Even though
attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is beneficial,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
supplementation from home will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to attain a high level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
and home teaching will
greatly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
understand more and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them build their character and attitudes that will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them in the near future.
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IELTS essay Teaching children at home is best for a child's development

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
299 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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