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Today many young people change there Carrer or job

Today many young people change there Carrer or job aAPqw
These days it is common to see youngsters altering their works and also careers after a short period. One prominent reason behind this is monetary independence. While some people find it advantageous, others think of it as a disadvantage. As far as I am concerned, I believe its benefits surpass disadvantages. There are plenty of reasons why youngsters are shifting their respective jobs. One of the major motives is financial satisfaction. After gaining some experience, if someone switches his job he may not only get an increment in salary but also experience new opportunities that will further help in enhancing his skill. Another pivotal reason is learning. Whenever an employee changes his job, his environment also changes he will learn many aspects of jobs such as dealing with clients and how to tackle different problems, which is impossible to learn sticking to the same environment. Despite the disadvantages of switching jobs, there are several advantages. First of all, changing job can provide the opportunity of meeting with numerous people that will develop social skills. And these skills are crucial to a job. Secondly, job satisfaction can be achieved. Some people commenced a job without completing academic studies. If they are changing their jobs after finishing their studies they can achieve job satisfaction as well as a high paying job. Moreover, some companies do not provide lifelong jobs so it's better to alter jobs instead of holding the same. In conclusion, there are plethora of advantages like job satisfaction, social skills which overpower job alteration disadvantages.
These days it is common to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
youngsters altering their works and
also
careers after a short period. One prominent reason behind this is monetary independence. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
find it advantageous, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of it as a disadvantage. As far as I
am concerned
, I believe its benefits surpass disadvantages.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of reasons why youngsters are shifting their respective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. One of the major motives is financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
. After gaining
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
experience, if someone switches his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
he may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an increment in salary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
experience new opportunities that will
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in enhancing his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
. Another pivotal reason is learning. Whenever an employee
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, his environment
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
he will learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
such as dealing with clients and how to tackle
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
problems, which is impossible to learn
If 'learn' is used as a verb, it usually requires the infinitive: "to stick".
sticking
to the same environment.

Despite the disadvantages of switching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
, there are several advantages.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, changing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
can provide the opportunity of meeting with numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that will develop social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. And these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are crucial to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
can
be achieved
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
commenced a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
without completing academic studies. If they are changing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
after finishing their studies they can achieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
as well
as a high paying job.

Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
do not provide lifelong
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it's better to alter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
instead
of holding the same.

In conclusion
, there are plethora of advantages like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
satisfaction
, social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
which overpower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
alteration disadvantages.
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IELTS essay Today many young people change there Carrer or job

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
255 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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