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Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. What are the causes? What are the effects?

Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. What are the causes? What are the effects? drbQ6
In today’s modern society, the concern of virtual entertainment has been receiving great attention. The fact that many teenagers allocate significant time for electronic games rather than physical activities. In this essay, some causes and effects of being addicted to games will be analyzed in more depth. Perhaps the main reason is students have a lot of leisure time and spending much time on computer games can kill a sense of boredom in the COVID-19 pandemic. It is clear that pupils can not move to clubs or parks to engage in outdoor activities. For this reason, it is inevitable that youngsters have the tendency to interact with computer games due to danger in society. Another factor that children spend little time on sports is a lack of open space and facilities to play sports. To clarify, governments are investing in the lands for building public construction like streets, stations, skyscrapers and so on without a green place for children, especially in the city. As a result, there is a great deal of housing and commercial development happening near playgrounds where people may play sports. The heavy reliance on digital games can lead to some detrimental consequences. To begin with, young people are so attracted to virtual games that they may have a variety of health issues such as short-sightedness and backache as a result of sitting in front of a computer screen. It is unavoidable that game addiction can be caused to underperform academically as they seriously impact on their career prospects. Another effect may be the temptation to participate in small crime or antisocial behaviour like stealing money to service for demanding play in games. In conclusion, due to some factors mentioned above, the increasing popularity of being passionate about electronic games is regarded as an alarming and worrying issue.
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s modern society, the concern of virtual entertainment has been receiving great attention. The fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
allocate significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
rather
than physical activities. In this essay,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
causes and effects of
being addicted
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
will
be analyzed
in more depth.

Perhaps the main reason is students have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and spending much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can kill a sense of boredom in the COVID-19 pandemic. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that pupils can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to clubs or parks to engage in outdoor activities.
For this reason
, it is inevitable that youngsters have the tendency to interact with computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
in society. Another factor that children spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on sports is a lack of open space and facilities to play sports. To clarify,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
are investing in the lands for building public construction like streets, stations, skyscrapers and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on without a green place for children,
especially
in the city.
As a result
, there is a great deal of housing and commercial development happening near playgrounds where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
may play sports.

The heavy reliance on digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
detrimental consequences. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
attracted to virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
that they may have a variety of health issues such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
short-sightedness
and backache
as a result
of sitting in front of a computer screen. It is unavoidable that game addiction can
be caused
to underperform
academically
as they
seriously
impact on their career prospects. Another effect may be the temptation to participate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
crime or antisocial
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
like stealing money to service for demanding play in games.

In conclusion
, due to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors mentioned above, the increasing popularity of being passionate about electronic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is regarded
as an alarming and worrying issue.
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IELTS essay Today many children spend a lot of time playing computer games and little time on sports. What are the causes? What are the effects?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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