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Today, in most parts of the world, people are living longer. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Today, in most parts of the world, people are living longer. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages? Qlbn1
Living longer has long been viewed as the natural wish of most people and thanks to medical breakthroughs, the average life expectancy of people is rising day by day. While I accept that this tendency may sometimes have a negative effect on our society, I do believe that the benefits do outweigh the drawbacks. It is generally believed that the rising lifespan may lead to an alarming situation called the aging population. This severe problem poses enormous pressure on the nations’ workforce because of the shortage of youth. Take Japan as a typical example to illustrate this point, it seems that this government has to seek resources of employees from some developing countries. Besides, when people’s lifetime is longer, the authorities also get into trouble with financial burdens. The national budgets have to be invested heavily in pensions, social welfare, and the healthcare system for old people. Hence, some people think that greying population takes a negative impact on society. In spite of the drawbacks mentioned above, I do believe that this trend brings numerous benefits to both old people themselves and the community. Firstly, people living longer can have more time to enjoy their own lives and pursue their interests. This means that they are able to get chances to do what they want and compensate for many years of hard work by traveling, getting involved in social activities, and spending time with their family. Moreover, the old also devote to maintaining the beauty of traditions and cultures in their community. It is obvious that the seniors get deeper insights into the cultural identity of their regions; thanks to them, the valuable knowledge is always handed down through generations. Therefore, I convinced myself that a long lifespan is a fundamental and advantageous wish among people. In conclusion, it seems to me that we gain more than we lose when the world has many seniors.
Living longer has long
been viewed
as the natural wish of most
people
and thanks to medical breakthroughs, the average life expectancy of
people
is rising day by day. While I accept that this tendency may
sometimes
have a
negative
effect on our society, I do believe that the benefits do outweigh the drawbacks.

It is
generally
believed that the rising lifespan may lead to an alarming situation called the aging population. This severe problem poses enormous pressure on the nations’ workforce
because
of the shortage of youth. Take Japan as a typical example to illustrate this point, it seems that this
government
has to
seek resources of employees from
some
developing countries
.
Besides
, when
people’s
lifetime is longer, the authorities
also
get
into trouble with financial burdens. The national budgets
have to
be invested
heavily
in pensions, social welfare, and the healthcare system for
old
people
.
Hence
,
some
people
think
that
greying
population takes a
negative
impact on society.

In spite of
the drawbacks mentioned above, I do believe that this trend brings numerous benefits to both
old
people
themselves and the community.
Firstly
,
people
living longer can have more time to enjoy their
own
lives
and pursue their interests. This means that they are able to
get
chances to do what they want and compensate for
many
years of
hard
work by traveling, getting involved in social activities, and spending time with their family.
Moreover
, the
old
also
devote to maintaining the beauty of traditions and cultures in their community. It is obvious that the seniors
get
deeper insights into the cultural identity of their regions; thanks to them, the valuable knowledge is always handed down through generations.
Therefore
, I convinced myself that a long lifespan is a fundamental and advantageous wish among
people
.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that we gain more than we lose when the world has
many
seniors.
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IELTS essay Today, in most parts of the world, people are living longer. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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