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In modern days, with the advancement of technology, especially the internet, movies and computer games are becoming more and more ubiquitous.

In modern days, with the advancement of technology, especially the internet, movies and computer games are becoming more and more ubiquitous. KV950
In modern days, with the advancement of technology, especially the internet, movies and computer games are becoming more and more ubiquitous. It is believed that movies and games could help people to relax while others argue that they have plenty of negative effects and need to be censored. From where I stand, I partially agree that it brings many bad effects and positive and this essay will outline my reasons. To begin with, many people believe that movies and computer games are considered to be harmless. One of the major reasons related to this is that it helps individuals to relax after a hard-working period. For instance, after an intensive meeting with corporations, nothing better than having a day off and enjoying movies or playing games with peers, it also helps people to recharge their batteries and refresh their minds. Furthermore, children can also learn about violent behavior from these movies and its causes. From that, they will have knowledge about preventing and tackling violence in their future lives. On the other hand, there are several disadvantages of playing or watching movies with violent activities and people should take them into consideration. The principal one is that children are attracted and addicted to these movies. As a result, they will try to stimulate the action and easily get involved in many uncontrollable activities such as fighting or conflict with parents. According to a recent and reputable report about the crime rate in 2020, it has said that there is an increase in the number of crimes, murders. The report also shows that most of these criminals used to be involved in illegal activities that related to violence. If adults are allowed to access films and computer games with no forms of moderation, they will run a higher risk of committing a crime. As a result, they will become social burdens. Thus, this is the reason why I believe that computer games and movies that contain violence should be censored. In conclusion, even violent movies and computer games have many effects on individuals, especially teenagers. It should be reduced because of its increased rate of crime. Parents are also playing roles in controlling their children’s activities, only that, this won’t become a debatable topic in our society.
In modern days, with the advancement of technology,
especially
the internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are becoming more and more ubiquitous. It
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to relax while others argue that they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects and need to
be censored
. From where I stand, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and this essay will outline my reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are considered
to be harmless. One of the major reasons related to this is that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
individuals to relax after a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working period.
For instance
, after an intensive meeting with corporations, nothing better than having a day off and enjoying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
or playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
with peers, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to recharge their batteries and refresh their minds.
Furthermore
, children can
also
learn about violent behavior from these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and its causes. From that, they will have knowledge about preventing and tackling violence in their future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

On the other hand
, there are several disadvantages of playing or watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
with violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should take them into consideration. The principal one is that children
are attracted
and addicted to these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
.
As a result
, they will try to stimulate the action and
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
uncontrollable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as fighting or conflict with parents. According to a recent and reputable report about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rate in 2020, it has said that there is an increase in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
, murders. The report
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that most of these criminals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
be involved
in illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that related to violence. If adults are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to access films and computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
with no forms of moderation, they will run a higher
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of committing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
As a result
, they will become social burdens.
Thus
, this is the reason why I believe that computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
that contain violence should
be censored
.

In conclusion
, even violent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
movies
and computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
effects on individuals,
especially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. It should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its increased rate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. Parents are
also
playing roles in controlling their children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that, this won’t become a debatable topic in our society.
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IELTS essay In modern days, with the advancement of technology, especially the internet, movies and computer games are becoming more and more ubiquitous.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
376 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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