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Today, in many places, people choose to live in large, extended family groups rather than in small family units. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Today, in many places, people choose to live in large, extended family groups rather than in small family units. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? VER86
In every country, people choose to live with family. However, some people prefer to choose to live in generation family groups than in small family units. From my point of view, I think it has several reasons why extended family attracted more people and it has many advantages that outweigh the drawbacks. There are several reasons why people choose to live in a large or extended family and this also is the benefits. First and foremost, family members in extended family can share housework or look after children and do a lot of family activities. For example, while parents have to work really hard, grandparents can help them to take care of their child and also help them to prepare meals. And parents can also look after their parents as old people may have some diseases. Moreover, living in a generation group, young people can learn many things that help them to keep their traditions. For instance, in New Year Lunar, all family members can make Chung cake or they can go to pagoda. If they have any serious news, everyone can know that just for few minutes because they are in the same house. However, there are some disadvantages. Firstly, it is the generation gap. Although people can leave in a house but there are many challenging for everyone. For example, children can do not like their grandparents because old people always use angry languages and have many rules in their life. And they have many things to spend on their quality of life such as medicine, or entertainment. In fact, in some families, grandparents do not share to budget with parents so they are the financial burden. So it can be seen that there are some disadvantages. To sum up, there are several reasons why people choose to live in large family groups and its advantages is much more than the disadvantages as it discussed above. Extended family is the best choice to leave as people can leave with all their family members.
In every country,
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people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
to
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live
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
However
,
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some
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people
prefer to
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choose
to
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live
in generation
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family
groups than in
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small
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family
units. From my point of view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it has several reasons why
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extended
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family
attracted more
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people
and it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages that outweigh the drawbacks.

There are several reasons why
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people
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choose
to
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live
in a large or
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extended
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family
and this
also
is the benefits.
First
and foremost,
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family
members in
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extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
can share housework or look after children and do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
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family
activities.
For example
, while
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parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
work
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
, grandparents can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to take care of their child and
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to prepare meals. And
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parents
can
also
look after their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
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people
may have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases.
Moreover
, living in a generation group, young
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people
can learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their traditions.
For instance
, in New Year Lunar, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
Chung
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
cake or
they can go to pagoda. If they have any serious news, everyone can know that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
for few minutes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are in the same
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house
.

However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages.
Firstly
, it is the generation gap. Although
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people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
challenging for everyone.
For example
, children can do not like their grandparents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
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people
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
angry languages and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
in their life. And they have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things to spend on their quality of life such as medicine, or entertainment. In fact, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
, grandparents do not share to budget with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they are the financial burden.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages.

To sum up, there are several reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
in large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
groups and its advantages is much more than the disadvantages as it discussed above.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Extended
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is the best choice to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
with all their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.
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IELTS essay Today, in many places, people choose to live in large, extended family groups rather than in small family units. What are the reasons? Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
335 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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