Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Today, high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own experience.

Today, high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. EElq
It is a fact that manufacturing companies spend a huge amount of money in order to advertise their products.  Although many people believe that consumers purchase various products because of the influence of advertisements,  some others argue against it.  This essay will discuss both arguments. Today’s advertisements are strong enough to attract any kind of people.  Most of the advertisements are over exaggerated representation of the real product.  Vulnerable people often fell in this trap and purchase low quality materials unnecessarily.  Moreover,  advertisements sometimes target certain age groups,  such as schoolchildren and adolescents.  In order to attract such immature population,  advertising companies make use of prominent singers or actors. Since adolescents have a tendency to imitate their favorite icons,  they purchase the product.  Apart from this,  many people grab the newly launched products in order to increase their pride in the society.  On the other hand,  many people purchase products by watching the advertisement,  if they are likely to improve their lifestyle.  For instance,  if a busy person comes to see an advertisement about a new time saving home appliance,  he or she is more likely to purchase that item.  In addition,  if the product is good in quality and really meats the expectation of the buyer,  it will get mouth publicity.  This will surely improve the sales of the particular product.  Furthermore,  there are many people who are keen on advanced technologies.  Such people often buy latest products by thinking that they simplify their life. To conclude,  I think advertisement play an important role in improving the sales of a product.  Despite the fact that advertisements are not real,  an increasing number of people still fall in their trap.
It is a fact that manufacturing 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
 spend a huge amount of money in order to advertise their products.  Although 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
 believe that consumers 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
 various products 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
 of the influence of advertisements,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
 others argue against it.  This essay will discuss both arguments.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
’s advertisements are strong 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
 to attract any kind of 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.  Most of 
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
the


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
advertisements
 are 
Consider using "exaggerated".
over exaggerated
 representation of the real product.  Vulnerable 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
 fell in this trap and 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
 low quality materials 
unnecessarily
.  
Moreover
,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
advertisements 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
 target certain age groups,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
such as schoolchildren and adolescents.  In order to 
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
attract


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
such
 immature population,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
advertising 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
 of prominent singers or actors.

Since adolescents have a tendency to imitate their favorite icons,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
they 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
 the product.  Apart from this,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
 grab the 
newly
 launched products in order to increase their pride in the society.  On the other hand,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
 products by watching the advertisement,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
if they 
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
are


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
likely
 to 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
 their lifestyle.  For instance,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
if a busy person 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
 to 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
 an advertisement about a new time saving home appliance,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
he or she is more likely to 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
 that item.  In addition,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
if the product is 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
 in quality and 
really
 meats the expectation of the buyer,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
it will 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
 mouth publicity.  This will 
surely
 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
 the sales of the particular product.  
Furthermore
,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
there are 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
 who are keen on advanced technologies.  Such 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
 
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
 products by thinking that they simplify their life.

To conclude,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
I 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
 advertisement play an 
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
 role in improving the sales of a product.  Despite the fact that advertisements are not real,
Possible typo: you repeated a whitespace
 
an increasing number of 
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
 
still
 fall in their trap.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Today, high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
36 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts