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Today family eat fewer meals together why is this? Is his positive or negative developement?

Today family eat fewer meals together why is this? Is his positive or negative developement? PXjx2
There is no doubt to say that, In this technology era every person busy in their own life. Family members have not enough time have food together. In this following essay I will discuss negative effect on people life. To commence with, In this global era most of people have hactik shudulde owing to the fact that a most of family members do job regarding their job. They do not have more time take a meal with their family. To example, last year during to COVID 19 lockdown most of employe do work from home. They do a lot of work during this lockdown. In addition to this some time they forget meal time moreover, technology is a main reason to this negative developement. A lot of person prefer spend most time on social media. They give first Preference their social media friends rather than eat meal and spend time with their family. Most of youngster addited in game. They play games most of time and forget time to meal. Furthermore, family members not spend a lot of time with their family consequently family members bond destroyed owing to the fact that they not able to spend more time with their family. Some time a few family members face serious health deaseas other family members not aware that problem. Moreover, children do not attain knowledge and experience of their grandparents. In addition to this generation lack of confidence and they would not like attation Any gathering in future. To sum up, most of family members do a lot of more and spend their spare time on internet that's why they could not eat meal on time with their family.
There is no doubt to say that, In this technology era every person busy in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
have not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
have food together. In this following essay I will discuss
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
life. To commence with, In this global era most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
hactik
Possible spelling mistake found.
shudulde
owing to the fact that a most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
do job regarding their job. They do not have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
. To example, last year during to
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
COVID 19
lockdown
Consider using "most employe" or "most of the employe".
most of employe
do work from home. They do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of work during this lockdown.
In addition
to this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they forget
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
moreover
, technology is a main reason to this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
Possible spelling mistake found.
developement
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of person prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on social media. They give
first
Preference their social media friends
rather
than eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
Consider using "Most youngster" or "Most of the youngster".
Most of youngster
Possible spelling mistake found.
addited
in game. They play games most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and forget
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
consequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
bond
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
owing to the fact that
Did you mean "they are" or "they were"?
they
not able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
a few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
face serious health
Possible spelling mistake found.
deaseas
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
not aware that problem.
Moreover
, children do not attain knowledge and experience of their grandparents.
In addition
to this generation lack of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
confidence and
they would not like
Possible spelling mistake found.
attation
Any gathering
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
. To sum up, most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of more and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on internet that's why they could not eat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meal
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
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IELTS essay Today family eat fewer meals together why is this? Is his positive or negative developement?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
279 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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